"Valentine" themed entry

Currently I am holding an IM conversation with Cupid. Yes indeed. It's fun messing with the head of someone who's not even real. Here's the entire thing:

randomjess9: hi
Cupid: Hi I'm Cupid! Let me stir up some flirtatious fun. U can Send IM Crushes and play Love Games by typing Menu. Type Privacy anytime to review the policy. To receive real time IM Crushes & Love Alerts, type Y (yes) and hit send.
randomjess9: boo
Cupid: Um. Wrong holiday.
randomjess9: sorry
Cupid: It's O.K. I'll give you another chance.
randomjess9: are you a real person?
Cupid: Are you?
randomjess9: geez this sounds like my philosophy class
Cupid: Good-bye broken hearted and say hello to a new you. Here are a couple IM ideas to make every day just LOVE'ly.
randomjess9: obviously you are a mythological creature parading hidden behind technology
Cupid: I am indeed.
randomjess9: lol
Cupid: I'm glad I could make you smile.
randomjess9: what's your name?
Cupid: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu.
randomjess9: no
Cupid: Well, we won't get very far with this conversation then will we?
randomjess9: nope
Cupid: Ug. No?
randomjess9: i just want to test this whole IM bot deal
Cupid: Interesting. Type menu.
randomjess9: why do I have to type that?
Cupid: Just do it already.
randomjess9: why?
Cupid: Excuse me?
randomjess9: why are you commanding me to type it?
Cupid: Yes.
randomjess9: you're not a real person. you've just got programmed answers
Cupid: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
randomjess9: clearly.
Cupid: Can I ask YOU something?
randomjess9: shoot
Cupid: Do you have a date for V-Day?
randomjess9: the correct response to a Why? question is not yes or no
Cupid: Not cool. I'm here to help. You can send a crush to somone to let them know you like them or even find love anew!
Now type one of those commands and I'll try to do my magic.
randomjess9: i never answered your question you know
Cupid: You got it! That's great!
randomjess9: no i didn't!
Cupid: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of a date!
randomjess9: oh? because I'm sitting at my computer talking to a freaking BOT?
Cupid: Well, I won't argue with you on that.
randomjess9: you sound like a Magic 8 Ball
Cupid: Express yourself online and be sassy! Here are a couple IM ideas to make every day just LOVE'ly.
randomjess9: ha
randomjess9: I already am
Cupid: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Cupid: Indeed
randomjess9: that wasn't a question
Cupid: Pardon me?
randomjess9: I didn't ask you a question
Cupid: Sorry, I didn't get that.
randomjess9: right
Cupid: Can I ask YOU something?
randomjess9: yes, now that you're asking me again, though that is a question in itself
Cupid: Which color are you more partial to? Can tell a lot about someone's love ability by color.
1 -- Black
2 -- White
3 -- Rose
4 -- Beige
randomjess9: you didn't even make that a complete sentence
Cupid: Oh well. Never mind then. I figured you were a lame lover.
randomjess9: fine then. rose.
Cupid: Great.
randomjess9: aren't you supposed to tell me about my love ability?
Cupid: May I ask you a question?
randomjess9: you already did
Cupid: Why did you say that?
randomjess9: grr
Cupid: Pardon me?
randomjess9: onomatopoeia
Cupid: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu.
randomjess9: you have a rather limited vocabulary
Cupid: Can I ask YOU something?
randomjess9: YES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Cupid: Have you signed up for alerts from The Musicnowplaylist Bot?
randomjess9: no. and I'm not going to.
Cupid: Dude, get with the program, talk to Themusicnowplaylist bot and opt in for daily music!
randomjess9: i'm not a dude.
Cupid: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
randomjess9: heck yes you are
Cupid: Am I?
randomjess9: what is love?
Cupid: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
randomjess9: ok
randomjess9: Is God real?
Cupid: Good.
Cupid: It doesn't matter what faith you are; love is a good thing
randomjess9: what about Allah?
Cupid: Why did you say that?
randomjess9: just testing you
Cupid: Can I ask YOU something?
randomjess9: can you stop asking questions like that?
Cupid: Have you sent an IM crush to anyone on AIM?
randomjess9: why?
Cupid: May I ask you a question?
randomjess9: YES
Cupid: Which color are you more partial to? Can tell a lot about someone's love ability by color.
randomjess9: rose
Cupid: Lovely. Just checking. Rose. Looks great on you. Sounds nice too . Rose, to me means you are grounded in the natural but are are a unique sole that stands apart. Type find love and I'll try to match you up with somone who gets it.
randomjess9: white
Cupid: Cool! Now we are getting somewhere.
randomjess9: do you have wings?
Cupid: Excuse me?
randomjess9: do you have wings? you know, it helps you fly?
Cupid: OK, I hear you. So, Cupid on AIM is a bot that allows you to participate in real-time game of Internet tag, play games and search for love. To use Cupid all you have to do is opt in by following the instructions.
randomjess9: tag?
Cupid: Interesting. Type menu.
randomjess9: what about something else?
Cupid: Sorry, I didn't get that.
randomjess9: unem
Cupid: Can I ask YOU something?
randomjess9: yes
Cupid: Do you have a date for V-Day?
randomjess9: not that i know of
Cupid: Whew!
randomjess9: what, Cupid needs a date?
Cupid: Enter a valid 5 digit zip-code and Cupid will find people looking for love near you.
randomjess9: no
Cupid: Please enter a valid 5 digit zip. Would you like to try again?
randomjess9: no
Cupid: Main Menu --
Looking to get something started? Pick one:
***You have 1 Live crush(es). Type live to see.***
1 - Play Cupid Tag -- Send an IM Crush to friends
2 - Listen to Love Songs
3 - Find Love
4 - Play Games
randomjess9: live?
Cupid: Sorry, I didn't get that.
randomjess9: live
Cupid: Tag you are it! With these clues, can you guess who I am?
1 - This past U.S. election I:
None of the above!
2 - If I had a million dollars, I'd:
Pay off my debts and invest the rest
3 - If I could have one superpower, I would want to be able to:
Fly
Type in a screenname to guess who it is:
Cupid: Nope, that's not it. Try again.
randomjess9: no
randomjess9: I want a hint
Cupid: Why did you say that?
Cupid: Tag you are it! With these clues, can you guess who I am?
1 - This past U.S. election I:
None of the above!
2 - If I had a million dollars, I'd:
Pay off my debts and invest the rest
3 - If I could have one superpower, I would want to be able to:
Fly
Type in a screenname to guess who it is:
randomjess9: help
Cupid: Nope, that's not it. Try again.
randomjess9: maybe I'll succumb
Cupid: Nope, that's not it. Try again.
randomjess9: duh
Cupid: Nope, that's three times and you could not guess who it was. If you come back on Feb. 14 we will reveal all of your crushes. Just go to your Crush history. Now type menu to get back to the main menu.
Here's a Cupid task that's a lot easier than this one -- Opt-in for playlists. No guesswork necessary.
randomjess9: how do I get to my crush history?
Cupid: OK, now you can participate in the biggest online tag game ever and send anonymous IM crushes through Cupid. Its fun, easy and free! You can always send an IM crush but to receive them and other notices from Cupid you have to opt in. If you have more questions about crushes and tag you can type info.
Do you want to be included in Cupid's IM tag and Alerts?
randomjess9: info
Cupid: Hmm, you have to select either option -- Yes or No -- it's not that hard!
randomjess9: no
Cupid: OK, no problem. You will not be added to Cupid's "OK to tag" list on AIM. You can opt in any time and you can still send IM crushes, play games and search for love! Type main to get started.
randomjess9: it really is that hard
randomjess9: bye
Cupid: Mm hm.
Cupid: TTYL. Don't forget to tag somone!