Wednesday, May 21, 2008

untitled

Two thoughts....

1. "It's okay, you can trust me."

2. Visiting your old middle school or high school is like trying to fit into a t-shirt you've outgrown. Try as you might, it won't be the same, and is kind of odd. It looks the same, and has stayed the same for the most part, but you've grown.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Saying Farewell

This week is the last week of my junior year, and it brings many more goodbyes than in years past. I've been thinking a lot lately of how this year, this week, I will need to say goodbye to two of my professors (who are both of my advisors) as well as a number of my friends that are seniors.

Since December or so, I have tutored two middle school students. One is a space cadet, and the other can work fairly well on his own, but has a rough living situation. Really, I think that I have learned a little from them, and I hope that they of course have learned from me. Not only have I learned some more about teaching math, I have learned about students in general. No matter a child's living situation, no matter the circumstances, a child is still a child. A teen is still a teen. They have friends, interests, a family, and just aren't grown up yet. I can't expect them to think the way I do about math, or understand things right away. I trust that these two students have changed for the better after my work with them. I trust that Christ will be evident in me, and that everything will be for God's glory.

A family that I am very close to is moving very far away this summer, and who knows when I will see them again. They have been influential in my life both academically and personally. Through leadership in quizzing, I have learned skills often through "trial by fire", with little preparation. I have been able to share my organizational skills, as well as to encourage the youth when it seems like there is so much pressure. In classes, I have been challenged to work harder, because of knowing the professors outside of class. They have been willing to help me understand the material when it just isn't clicking or is completely over my head. Often I have been amused by observing their quirks as a family, especially that they both say "Ack!", and just who they are as people, as friends. I will definitely miss their 7 year old daughter, who loves American Girl, who is a lot of fun to be around. As we drew and wrote and played hangman on Sunday night, I thought about how that would be one of the last bits of quality time we would have together. I babysat her last fall, and we played in the sprinkler with the missionary kids, and I learned that I should be more careful about movie ratings and younger children, and how much activity and interaction with other kids is too much, and we went to the playground and the beach.

My friends that are seniors have been here the entire time I've been here, unlike the freshmen and sophomores that have come partway through my time at ENC. I don't know when I'll see many of them again, but there is always Homecoming, or Facebook, or visiting them in the area.

Everyone has to say goodbyes at some point: to people, to ideas, to dreams. We have pretty much said goodbye to the idea of gas for under $3, as troublesome as that is. We say goodbye to people as they move out of our lives, never to be seen again or rarely to be seen again. We say goodbye to dreams as new ones appear, as old ones are dashed, as old ones morph into new ones. Through it all, God is faithful and has a plan for our lives. God's plan brings together many elements, in a way that is beneficial to all, and in a way that is what God has in mind for creation.

Departures and separations are often no fun at all. But I hope that God uses changes in my life to help me grow, and to allow Him to work in my life and make me the woman He has called me to be.