Child of Divorce, Child of God (part 2)

...continued from part one...

Chapter 3:  The Weight of the World
In this chapter, Steakley references another book called Between Two Worlds:  The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce to explain how children take on the task of straddling two worlds--not bridging a chasm, but juggling two (sometimes very) different home cultures.  These "home cultures" encompass not just the number of family members but also values, beliefs, disciplinary methods, financial resources, etc.

In "whole" families, the parents are responsible for meshing together their two different worlds, but in divorced families, this responsibility of "reconciling these differences" and "making sense of competing worldviews"(52) is left to the children.  Divorce means that children have to grow up quickly, which often means feeling like no one understands, taking care of themselves, and/or negotiating their parents' relationship(s).

Steakley reminds us that God is present in the midst of our "messy situations," and wants to lift/carry our burdens so we don't have to.  God redeems our lives, and is with us every step, telling us which way to go.

Chapter 4:  All You Need is Love (cue the Beatles' music)
"In order to really love someone, we have to know them well."  This chapter primarily deals with the thought that divorced children doubt that they will ever be loved or will be able to love others well--especially in the context of marriage.  Having experienced divorce and its aftereffects, children of divorce know that marriage is not to be taken lightly, and that it requires communication and work.

God has created us, and therefore knows us better than we know ourselves, and loves us anyway even with our "deepest and darkest secrets."  God shows us God's love in many different ways that we could notice if only we stop and pay attention.  Our identity is not "child of divorce" but "child of God", and that does not change with what we do or don't do, or our circumstances in life.  God loves us no matter what, and His love is the example we should strive to emulate.

...part three coming soon...