corny but funny jokes

The following are taken from the Facebook group, "A Bad Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away." They are really amusing. :)

Two muffins are in a oven. One says, "Oh my goodness, it's hot in here!!" The other one says,"Oh my goodness, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What happened to the frog that was parked illegally?
It was toad!

what do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor!
what do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major!

Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because the Captain was standing on the deck!

Where do one-legged waitresses work?
IHOP.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
One goes "whack... dang!"
The other, "dang... whack!"

So there are these two friends, "hehe" and "haha". One sad day, "haha" passed away. After the funeral, "hehe" stayed behind to grieve his dear friend. Finally, hehe couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into tears screaming "haha, you're dead!"

Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired!

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!!
What's brown and sticky?... a STICK!!!

How many members of, "my chemical romance" does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. they prefer to cry in the dark.

Where did Napolean keep his armies?
In his sleevies!

I think that's about all for now. :)