Zero

For spring break this year, I had the awesome opportunity/privilege to travel to Jerusalem and Israel/Palestine and stay with some missionary friends there. I had envisioned the trip as simply tourism and learning more about Biblical geography/history, but there were so many more dimensions. The conflict between Palestine/Israel has more nuances than I'd realized, I met some neighbors and English language learners, and also had conversations about life and ministry.

The night before Resurrection Sunday, as my new (and old) friends and I traveled back from the Dead Sea and Masada, we listened to the worship song "Breathe."

This is the air I breathe

This is the air I breathe

Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread

This is my daily bread

Your very word spoken to me

And I'm desperate for you

And I'm lost without you

As we sang along, I was reminded of something our tour guide Yoni had said a few days earlier. We were in the same passageway from Jerusalem down to the Dead Sea area, and had climbed a small hill so that Yoni could point out Jericho and also the barrenness of the land.

Now, this is not representative of the entire land of Israel, because in the north, at least near Galilee, the land is more verdant. However, this is probably what the Israelites would've seen as they approached the Promised Land, after the Exodus and years of wandering in the desert.

Yoni asked us to consider "What makes the 'Promised Land' so promising?" Looking at this landscape, there is really nothing appealing. If you didn't have sufficient water, you'd die in a matter of days.

Yoni then pointed out the saying/quote (can't find the source), "Without God [we] are nothing." The word for "nothing" in Hebrew is the same as the word for "zero"--"Without God we are zero." Zero is simply a placeholder, is neither positive nor negative, and describes an amount of null size. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Without God's provision, presence, and faithfulness, our lives have no value. We are lost without God, wandering in the wilderness seeking a word from Him. We are desperate for God's presence, in order to breathe Him in and let Him permeate every part of our lives.

How often do I try to live life on my own, as though I could make it through every day without God's guiding hand? How often do I assume that I have it within myself to teach and minister to my students, with no help from God? How often do I chase after MY dreams and not God's?

The truth is: far too often. I need to remember that I am solely dependent on God's provision for His words and His presence. The "Promised Land" is promising because God restores what once was broken: relationships (primarily the relationship between God and humanity), hearts, and lives. I cannot bring about restoration by my own strength, but only through Christ. I cannot live without daily bread from God. I cannot exist from day to day without Christ. I cannot dream dreams without God's big ideas being placed in my mind.

Reminder: Without God I am nothing.

World Languages--Just for Fun

Last week, most likely during a bout of procrastination, I decided to list all the words/phrases I know in other languages. (There is no way I can list all the words I know in Spanish and Russian, and of course I am a native English speaker.)

Spanish: intermediate skills

[On various tests, I've scored at Intermediate 1, Low Intermediate, C1--Advanced (this test was only 15 questions)]

Russian: beginner skills

[Scored "pre-intermediate" on a 60 question test, July 2010]

French: 1 semester in high school--this is ranked lower than Russian because I cannot conjugate basic past and future tenses in French (people here speak to me in French sometimes...it's strange...)

Ukrainian: Besides knowing how to say yes, no, what, and kung-fu, I can't speak other phrases, but if I had text, I could probably guess at some of the words.

German: good day, good morning, please, no, hail, goose, I, thank you, goodbye (I could probably understand some if it was spoken to me)

Hebrew: shalom, Shabbat, good morning, Shma ("hear, O Israel...")

Arabic: thank you (shukran), God willing (En sh'allah), come on (yallah)

Polish: lip, thank you

Mandarin Chinese: hello (ni hao), I love you (wo ai ni)

Cantonese Chinese: gorilla (sing sing)

Dutch: airport (luchthaven)

Albanian: goodbye (mirupafshim)

Spring brings hope...

Inspired by the soon arrival of spring here in Ukraine...

(c) 2010 by me.

Winter
Cloudy, sunless skies
Short days
Long nights
Bitter air, frigid winds
Cold noses and toes
Slippery walks
Cars buried in snow
Trudging along by foot
Icicles falling from rooftops
Gray, brown, dreary shades

Where is the hope?
Must I suffer day after day?
Miserable cold
Held captive indoors
What promises remain?
Seeking, seeking, seeking
To little avail
How long will this last?

Spring
Sunny mornings
Melting ice
Glimpses of the sidewalk
Appearances of green
Warmer days
Pink and white tulips
More daylight
Dripping, draining puddles
Cheerful moods
Warm weather is coming

Here comes hope
Waiting unseen for months
When all seemed lost
Could this really be possible?
Freedom to explore
Bask in the sunlight
Winter seems so long ago
Beauty emerges from ice and dirt
Appearing slowly like a crocus

Hope arrives
Bringing freedom, beauty, new life
Promises come true
Rescue of what once was lost
Restoration of what was distorted
Redemption of the broken
Creating distance between what once was
And what will be no more
A new day is dawning
Promises are kept
Of faithfulness and peace--
The greatest assurance is love.

Little steps, big steps? (from Ukraine blog)

Like so many other recent college grads, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life (or rather, the life God's given me) and where to go.

The following is an excerpt from a Relevant magazine article.

Litton believes that what sets Christian radicals apart from the world is the commitment to take the teachings of Jesus seriously and to be known by humility and love. “I know a lot of people focus on the big steps—should I leave my job, should I move to Africa, what can I do? And we should be open to those things, but they can become a distraction because, really, what God is calling us to every day is to radically obey Him,” he says. “Radical followers of Christ, their chief characteristic will be love.”

Radical obedience to Christ. That is my calling. My primary calling. No matter where in the world I am. Even if it's difficult for me. Even if I have to sacrifice something of great value. Even when it won't please other people.

What am I to obey? Those "little" commands, that seem the most basic but yet are the most complex. Those "little" commands, that keep at the back of my mind. Those "little" commands that will show our faithfulness in small matters.

Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and love your neighbor as well as you do yourself (MSG).

Do I truly throw that much--ALL--of myself into loving God all the time?

Am I seeking ONLY to please God--and not other people?

Have I given ALL of me--my past, present, and future--to the unchanging and unfailing God who can use the broken me for His sacred purposes?

More Quizzing Quotes

Quotes mostly unattributed; please claim your words.

2008-2009
"What's the capital of Boston?"

"No, I'm going to sit and watch you squirm"

Q: "Whose name was Mary?"
correct answer: The virgin
Cindi: Mary!

"Who is the new host of the Drew Carey?"

Matt, about Jen: "She spoke whale!!!" (yawning while reading the question)
Matt, also about Jen: "ooo, look at me, I'm trying to be French!"
Someone's answer to a question: "The baby. John. John the baby."

Years past:
me, probably: "Somebody's not suffering from osteoporosis tonight!"
Becky: "Pluto is my favorite planet in the whole world!"
Shea: "That came out of left field and landed in the end zone."
Lucas about the name Dorcas: "That's such a terrible name! She probably got made fun of in middle school!"
Anne L (who was about 6 at the time): "You won't get to eat dinner or go to sleep if you don't get up!"

"I saw it out of the corner of my mouth."

Jen: "I get distracted when I can't focus."

Anne L wanted to be a mom, an actress, or to teach little kids in school when she grew up.

Sacred Space, 4/21

"What is present to me is what has a hold on my becoming. I reflect on the presence of God always there in love, amidst the many things that have a hold on me. I pause and pray that I may let God affect my becoming in this precise moment."

My happiness does not come by filling my life with other things. They are all meaningless compared to my identity found in Christ.

Following God is not always just about following Him to a particular geographical location, but about becoming who He wants you to be. The best child of God.

Let God's presence shape me. Not my friends, not my music or books, not my roles in various groups, but God alone. I need to make time for God to allow Him to shape me and be more of an influence in my life than other things/people.

spiritual gifts

Originally posted in 2006, here are some updates...

Within the past "three" years (06, 05, 04), I've taken spiritual gifts survey things....We took one on Sunday and I thought I would dig out my others. Of course, this is just three years in a row, so I'm not sure they're going to show any major switches.

July 2004:
1. Hospitality, Missionary
2. Helps, Service, Knowledge

August 2005:
1. Missionary
2. Helps
3. Service

June 2006: (different test)
1. Encouragement, Service
2. Knowledge
3. Helps

Hmm so the constants have been:
3 out of 3: Helps, Service
2 of 3: Knowledge, Missionary
1 of 3: Encouragement, Hospitality

Nothing about teaching on there whatsoever. Then again, I think it's about teaching the Bible, not other stuff.

In 2009:

1. Helps

2. Pastor/Shepherd

3. Knowledge

4. Apostleship

Birthday update

So, today is my 22nd birthday! This is the first birthday since 19 that I've been in Maryland for some part of the time...for #20, I was in El Paso, and for #21, I was in Ukraine (I've celebrated #17 and #18 in Pennsylvania--the rest were at home in MD).

The past couple days I was with my mom and brother in Troy, NY for his college orientation. I mostly wandered around the campus (and downtown a bit), scoping it out and taking photos. I went to a few of the parent/family sessions, but I've already heard similar spiels from my own college search. It's a great school for engineering/science-type majors, and Adam's going to be studying aeronautical/mechanical engineering. We also met his roommate (for all of about 5 minutes) and got to see the room where he'll live this year. Sadly, I won't be back up to NY for move-in, as I will already be in Ukraine.

The highlights of my birthday were: getting a Snuggie from Adam--yes, one of those blankets with sleeves, advertised on infomercials (he insists that I have to take it to Ukraine)--getting free ice cream at the Carvel shop on the NY State Thruway, eating Chili's (yum yum), and talking to friends. :)

Last month I took the Math Content Knowledge and Math Pedagogy PRAXIS II exams for MD state teacher certification, and I got my results this week -- by MD standards, I passed both of them!!!!

Therefore, at this point in time, I can now apply for certification to teach secondary math in the following states: Colorado, Delaware, Maryland, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Vermont (among others). Other states require additional PRAXIS tests, or have specific requirements (but I may be able to use what I have to get credentials in their state). However, I'm going to wait till I return from Ukraine (whenever that may be), and until I figure out where I will live.

A month from today I will be arriving in Kiev, Ukraine. I still need to pack, and buy some stuff, and do some more preparation for teaching. I also have 3 weeks remaining of working--babysitting a 9 year old girl. That leaves me time in the evenings to run errands and otherwise prepare. For more specific updates on my Ukraine preparation, visit ukrainejh.blogspot.com

I think that's about all for now...I should tidy my room some and prepare for traveling this weekend. On Saturday I am going sailing with my dad and stepmom, and in the evening I'm going to a wedding. After that, I'm speaking at a church, then returning to my dad's house. Whew.

Another ethical justification for not drinking alcohol?

I have a theory that possibly could be used as an ethical justification for not drinking alcohol. But first, some background.

In Living Issues, we learned the approximate amounts of grain it takes to feed certain animals for human consumption. In order to obtain one pound of beef, it takes 15 pounds of feed. For one pound of pork meat, it takes 6 pounds of grain. It takes 5 pounds of feed in order to reap one poind of chicken.

(since I don't have my notebook with me, I found the numbers here)

As you can see, this is not an efficient system, as the energy that is taken from the food is used for more than just muscle development and “beefing up” (so to speak) for the market. If those pounds of grain were redistributed to those in need, rather than used for feeding cattle, a lot fewer people would go hungry and/or die of starvation each and every day. By not eating meat, vegetarians are withdrawing their involvement in this system, even if they may not make a difference as a single individual. (If I were to become a vegetarian, this would be one of my reasons.)

Now, as I understand it, wine is made from fermented grapes, and beer is made from fermented grain (not sure what kind). Could the same reasoning as above be used to decrease the consumption of alcohol? The grain that is being left to ferment could certainly be made into bread for the hungry!

There are probably holes in my theory, two being that many churches use wine for Communion, and that if the grain is going to ferment, it might as well be used for beer. True. However, when so many experience the adverse effects of alcoholism, when so many could use that grain to fill their bellies rather than get a beer belly, why is drinking beer/wine/alcohol for pleasure seen as an option? (Besides that, alcoholic drinks are so expensive—at least what I’ve seen!)

So, go for some Fair Trade coffee or tea or hot chocolate or a smoothie at your local coffeeshop, rather than a drink out on the town, and help break cycles of addiction, poverty, and destruction.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

love and light.

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. (1 John)

God loves us so much. And what's more, that means we should be proclaiming this love from the rooftops, to anyone and everyone, to know how amazing this love is. Even when we mess up. Even when we have doubts. Even to the loveless. Even when the world lets us down, God's love will never fail us.

THAT is truly amazing, truly good news to be shared.

[img from joshboston.com]