Little steps, big steps? (from Ukraine blog)

Like so many other recent college grads, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life (or rather, the life God's given me) and where to go.

The following is an excerpt from a Relevant magazine article.

Litton believes that what sets Christian radicals apart from the world is the commitment to take the teachings of Jesus seriously and to be known by humility and love. “I know a lot of people focus on the big steps—should I leave my job, should I move to Africa, what can I do? And we should be open to those things, but they can become a distraction because, really, what God is calling us to every day is to radically obey Him,” he says. “Radical followers of Christ, their chief characteristic will be love.”

Radical obedience to Christ. That is my calling. My primary calling. No matter where in the world I am. Even if it's difficult for me. Even if I have to sacrifice something of great value. Even when it won't please other people.

What am I to obey? Those "little" commands, that seem the most basic but yet are the most complex. Those "little" commands, that keep at the back of my mind. Those "little" commands that will show our faithfulness in small matters.

Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and love your neighbor as well as you do yourself (MSG).

Do I truly throw that much--ALL--of myself into loving God all the time?

Am I seeking ONLY to please God--and not other people?

Have I given ALL of me--my past, present, and future--to the unchanging and unfailing God who can use the broken me for His sacred purposes?

More Quizzing Quotes

Quotes mostly unattributed; please claim your words.

2008-2009
"What's the capital of Boston?"

"No, I'm going to sit and watch you squirm"

Q: "Whose name was Mary?"
correct answer: The virgin
Cindi: Mary!

"Who is the new host of the Drew Carey?"

Matt, about Jen: "She spoke whale!!!" (yawning while reading the question)
Matt, also about Jen: "ooo, look at me, I'm trying to be French!"
Someone's answer to a question: "The baby. John. John the baby."

Years past:
me, probably: "Somebody's not suffering from osteoporosis tonight!"
Becky: "Pluto is my favorite planet in the whole world!"
Shea: "That came out of left field and landed in the end zone."
Lucas about the name Dorcas: "That's such a terrible name! She probably got made fun of in middle school!"
Anne L (who was about 6 at the time): "You won't get to eat dinner or go to sleep if you don't get up!"

"I saw it out of the corner of my mouth."

Jen: "I get distracted when I can't focus."

Anne L wanted to be a mom, an actress, or to teach little kids in school when she grew up.

Sacred Space, 4/21

"What is present to me is what has a hold on my becoming. I reflect on the presence of God always there in love, amidst the many things that have a hold on me. I pause and pray that I may let God affect my becoming in this precise moment."

My happiness does not come by filling my life with other things. They are all meaningless compared to my identity found in Christ.

Following God is not always just about following Him to a particular geographical location, but about becoming who He wants you to be. The best child of God.

Let God's presence shape me. Not my friends, not my music or books, not my roles in various groups, but God alone. I need to make time for God to allow Him to shape me and be more of an influence in my life than other things/people.

spiritual gifts

Originally posted in 2006, here are some updates...

Within the past "three" years (06, 05, 04), I've taken spiritual gifts survey things....We took one on Sunday and I thought I would dig out my others. Of course, this is just three years in a row, so I'm not sure they're going to show any major switches.

July 2004:
1. Hospitality, Missionary
2. Helps, Service, Knowledge

August 2005:
1. Missionary
2. Helps
3. Service

June 2006: (different test)
1. Encouragement, Service
2. Knowledge
3. Helps

Hmm so the constants have been:
3 out of 3: Helps, Service
2 of 3: Knowledge, Missionary
1 of 3: Encouragement, Hospitality

Nothing about teaching on there whatsoever. Then again, I think it's about teaching the Bible, not other stuff.

In 2009:

1. Helps

2. Pastor/Shepherd

3. Knowledge

4. Apostleship

Birthday update

So, today is my 22nd birthday! This is the first birthday since 19 that I've been in Maryland for some part of the time...for #20, I was in El Paso, and for #21, I was in Ukraine (I've celebrated #17 and #18 in Pennsylvania--the rest were at home in MD).

The past couple days I was with my mom and brother in Troy, NY for his college orientation. I mostly wandered around the campus (and downtown a bit), scoping it out and taking photos. I went to a few of the parent/family sessions, but I've already heard similar spiels from my own college search. It's a great school for engineering/science-type majors, and Adam's going to be studying aeronautical/mechanical engineering. We also met his roommate (for all of about 5 minutes) and got to see the room where he'll live this year. Sadly, I won't be back up to NY for move-in, as I will already be in Ukraine.

The highlights of my birthday were: getting a Snuggie from Adam--yes, one of those blankets with sleeves, advertised on infomercials (he insists that I have to take it to Ukraine)--getting free ice cream at the Carvel shop on the NY State Thruway, eating Chili's (yum yum), and talking to friends. :)

Last month I took the Math Content Knowledge and Math Pedagogy PRAXIS II exams for MD state teacher certification, and I got my results this week -- by MD standards, I passed both of them!!!!

Therefore, at this point in time, I can now apply for certification to teach secondary math in the following states: Colorado, Delaware, Maryland, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Vermont (among others). Other states require additional PRAXIS tests, or have specific requirements (but I may be able to use what I have to get credentials in their state). However, I'm going to wait till I return from Ukraine (whenever that may be), and until I figure out where I will live.

A month from today I will be arriving in Kiev, Ukraine. I still need to pack, and buy some stuff, and do some more preparation for teaching. I also have 3 weeks remaining of working--babysitting a 9 year old girl. That leaves me time in the evenings to run errands and otherwise prepare. For more specific updates on my Ukraine preparation, visit ukrainejh.blogspot.com

I think that's about all for now...I should tidy my room some and prepare for traveling this weekend. On Saturday I am going sailing with my dad and stepmom, and in the evening I'm going to a wedding. After that, I'm speaking at a church, then returning to my dad's house. Whew.

Another ethical justification for not drinking alcohol?

I have a theory that possibly could be used as an ethical justification for not drinking alcohol. But first, some background.

In Living Issues, we learned the approximate amounts of grain it takes to feed certain animals for human consumption. In order to obtain one pound of beef, it takes 15 pounds of feed. For one pound of pork meat, it takes 6 pounds of grain. It takes 5 pounds of feed in order to reap one poind of chicken.

(since I don't have my notebook with me, I found the numbers here)

As you can see, this is not an efficient system, as the energy that is taken from the food is used for more than just muscle development and “beefing up” (so to speak) for the market. If those pounds of grain were redistributed to those in need, rather than used for feeding cattle, a lot fewer people would go hungry and/or die of starvation each and every day. By not eating meat, vegetarians are withdrawing their involvement in this system, even if they may not make a difference as a single individual. (If I were to become a vegetarian, this would be one of my reasons.)

Now, as I understand it, wine is made from fermented grapes, and beer is made from fermented grain (not sure what kind). Could the same reasoning as above be used to decrease the consumption of alcohol? The grain that is being left to ferment could certainly be made into bread for the hungry!

There are probably holes in my theory, two being that many churches use wine for Communion, and that if the grain is going to ferment, it might as well be used for beer. True. However, when so many experience the adverse effects of alcoholism, when so many could use that grain to fill their bellies rather than get a beer belly, why is drinking beer/wine/alcohol for pleasure seen as an option? (Besides that, alcoholic drinks are so expensive—at least what I’ve seen!)

So, go for some Fair Trade coffee or tea or hot chocolate or a smoothie at your local coffeeshop, rather than a drink out on the town, and help break cycles of addiction, poverty, and destruction.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

love and light.

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. (1 John)

God loves us so much. And what's more, that means we should be proclaiming this love from the rooftops, to anyone and everyone, to know how amazing this love is. Even when we mess up. Even when we have doubts. Even to the loveless. Even when the world lets us down, God's love will never fail us.

THAT is truly amazing, truly good news to be shared.

[img from joshboston.com]

General Assembly 2009

So here I am in Orlando, after the first full day of the General Assembly and Conventions of the Church of the Nazarene.

SO GREAT. and also so tiring.

I've seen a number of my friends that I haven't seen in a while and won't see again for a while....to name a few, Fabiola S. from Mexico, friends from ENC (okay, so it's been a month and a half), and missionaries serving all over the world. Also, I've seen people that I've vaguely met before (or even met multiple times like Susie).

I've met so many great people. "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet." So true here, especially considering that I try and make connections between people I know.

It's so cool meeting people from all around the world, and I'm really thankful that I speak Spanish, because it opens more doors and allows me to talk to more people. Two people from Korea taught me how to say hello. While I was watching a tae kwon do group from Korea, I turned to someone from MAC region to ask (in Spanish) where they were from. Turned out they were from Monterey and knew Fabiola. :) The man to my right asked me where I learned Spanish and said I should come study abroad at their place in Ecuador -- too bad I already graduated from college.

Anyway, I'm tired from walking around most of the day and talking to people. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with the missionaries from Ukraine to go over stuff, I guess, since they won't be there when I get there in August.

on being a grown-up

It's been one month since I graduated from college (and one month until I turn 22).

In some ways I feel like an adult (a "real" one) and in some ways I don't. Sometimes, when I was subbing, I felt professional and other times I felt like the students had pulled one over on me (and I didn't want to appear to the administration that I couldn't handle the students). Depending on who I'm around, I can feel like just a big kid or like an adult. You know, when you're in college, everyone treats you as an adult and gives you responsibilities and you are pretty much on your own for figuring out your day-to-day life. Then, when you come home, you've got a different routine and someone else is trying to make plans for you, or to dictate what needs to be done.

I've not been telling as many stories from my college days--it's almost like I've tucked away those memories in a box in the closet for a later date. But I guess I've got no one that will really appreciate them. Also, I'm not finding too many interesting stories any more--I miss random mealtime or eveningtime conversations with my friends.

On Saturday morning I took my PRAXIS II tests for getting my MD State Teaching Certification in math--math pedagogy and math content knowledge. I think I did slightly better than I was expecting in the pedagogy one (3 essays, 1 hour), but possibly a little worse in the content knowledge (50 multiple choice questions, 2 hours). You never know, though--I guessed on a LOT of my math comps and still passed those. I think/hope I passed my PRAXIS II tests so I don't have to pay more money and do them again--if there is a next time, I'll use actual study books rather than just the free PDF.

This past weekend I traveled to a church in PA to share about my trip(s) to Ukraine. I had a WONDERFUL time and stayed with some really WONDERFUL people (Ken, Diane, Scott, and Maggie). I always enjoy the ride on I-70 West, looking at the mountains, and once I got off the interstate, I was driving on hilly Pennsylvania roads. When I passed the road that I needed to eventually take, I decided to skip the next 3-4 steps that Google gave me and get directly onto the road (thinking it was a shorter way). Turned out I was on "roller coaster road", and that is definitely what it felt like. I went up or down, left or right, and sometimes both at the same time! I never knew which way the road was going to go as soon as I got to the top of a hill.

When I got to the house, I saw there were a bunch of cute little Jack Russell puppies!!! Scott and I sat and played with them for a while--they loved to lick and nibble at my toes and flipflops and fingers. One even fell asleep on my ankle. :)

I mostly sat and talked with Ken and Diane (and at one point, her parents) during and after dinner. Somewhere about 9 pm we decided to get ice cream and check out the showing of "Meet Me in St. Louis" on the courthouse lawn. Around 10:30pm, the movie still wasn't over (we got there after it had started), and Diane asked me, "Are you ready to go?" Sensing that she and Ken were ready, I replied with, "Are YOU ready to go?" :) Sure enough, they were done with sitting at a picnic table watching a movie that was longer than we thought, and I was fine with leaving.

The next morning, I met Maggie, who also had taken PRAXIS II testing for elementary school teaching. (Tiffany, who was a volunteer in Ukraine last year, also took hers this past weekend. Even though I'm no longer with my fellow ENC education majors, I can still find common ground with other present/future teachers!) That afternoon, before we left for the church picnic, she gave me a couple bags of clothes that she no longer needed/wanted--I've kept maybe 2/3 of them! A lot of it I can use for teaching--because it looks nice, and does not consist primarily of t-shirts, like my current wardrobe. :)


Books Currently Reading
Churched, by Matthew Paul Turner
What's Math Got to Do With It? Helping children learn to love their least favorite subject and why it's important for America, by Jo Boaler

Today I also picked up the movie "Speak" from the library; I remember reading the book by Laurie Halse Anderson when I was in middle/high school. It caught my attention because it had Kristen Stewart of Twilight-mania on the cover, and she looked every bit as bland and emotionless as she did in Twilight. (Honestly, I was glad to see Jacob come on the scene at the end of the movie, because he actually looked remotely PLEASANT!)

Strengths Finder and Sorting

Tonight I went out to the shed to organize my plastic totes brought home from college. They are now divided into the following categories:
~sell, donate, or otherwise get rid of
~does NOT go to Ukraine
~requires further attention (paperwork and notebooks and such)
~goes to Ukraine (but will probably be sifted through again)
~"bed, bath, and beyond" (things that I may or may not need for Ukraine, and that I do not need while I am living at home--dishes, bedding, etc.)

On the floor in my room I have another container of things that I may need in Ukraine, and a smaller box of teaching-type stuff. There will be LOTS of sorting this summer! :)

*~*

While I was in the shed, I found my StrengthsFinder book and thought I'd post my top 5 strengths, as of last fall. They are as follows: Connectedness*, Input*, Intellection, Analytical*, Developer.

Connectedness
People strong in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
[I am forever figuring out how I might possibly know people, or what mutual friends we have or others have.]

Input
People strong in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.
[Freshman year, Marie told me this was me in a nutshell. I'm definitely a packrat, and I remember lots of random details. I like to observe and take in info or scenery. Of course, I have to fight being a packrat when it comes to packing lightly for overseas travel!]

Intellection
People strong in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.

Analytical
People strong in the Analytical theme search for reasons and causes. They have the ability to think about all the factors that might affect a situation.

Developer
People strong in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
[I think this one developed (ha ha) over the past couple years as a result of being involved in quizzing and working with students.]

*I took the Strengthsfinder 3 years ago, and these are a few of my continued results. The other strengths at that time were Harmony and Consistency.