Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Little steps, big steps? (from Ukraine blog)

Like so many other recent college grads, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life (or rather, the life God's given me) and where to go.

The following is an excerpt from a Relevant magazine article.

Litton believes that what sets Christian radicals apart from the world is the commitment to take the teachings of Jesus seriously and to be known by humility and love. “I know a lot of people focus on the big steps—should I leave my job, should I move to Africa, what can I do? And we should be open to those things, but they can become a distraction because, really, what God is calling us to every day is to radically obey Him,” he says. “Radical followers of Christ, their chief characteristic will be love.”

Radical obedience to Christ. That is my calling. My primary calling. No matter where in the world I am. Even if it's difficult for me. Even if I have to sacrifice something of great value. Even when it won't please other people.

What am I to obey? Those "little" commands, that seem the most basic but yet are the most complex. Those "little" commands, that keep at the back of my mind. Those "little" commands that will show our faithfulness in small matters.

Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and love your neighbor as well as you do yourself (MSG).

Do I truly throw that much--ALL--of myself into loving God all the time?

Am I seeking ONLY to please God--and not other people?

Have I given ALL of me--my past, present, and future--to the unchanging and unfailing God who can use the broken me for His sacred purposes?

Saturday, November 07, 2009

More Quizzing Quotes

Quotes mostly unattributed; please claim your words.

2008-2009
"What's the capital of Boston?"

"No, I'm going to sit and watch you squirm"

Q: "Whose name was Mary?"
correct answer: The virgin
Cindi: Mary!

"Who is the new host of the Drew Carey?"

Matt, about Jen: "She spoke whale!!!" (yawning while reading the question)
Matt, also about Jen: "ooo, look at me, I'm trying to be French!"
Someone's answer to a question: "The baby. John. John the baby."

Years past:
me, probably: "Somebody's not suffering from osteoporosis tonight!"
Becky: "Pluto is my favorite planet in the whole world!"
Shea: "That came out of left field and landed in the end zone."
Lucas about the name Dorcas: "That's such a terrible name! She probably got made fun of in middle school!"
Anne L (who was about 6 at the time): "You won't get to eat dinner or go to sleep if you don't get up!"

"I saw it out of the corner of my mouth."

Jen: "I get distracted when I can't focus."

Anne L wanted to be a mom, an actress, or to teach little kids in school when she grew up.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Sacred Space, 4/21

"What is present to me is what has a hold on my becoming. I reflect on the presence of God always there in love, amidst the many things that have a hold on me. I pause and pray that I may let God affect my becoming in this precise moment."

My happiness does not come by filling my life with other things. They are all meaningless compared to my identity found in Christ.

Following God is not always just about following Him to a particular geographical location, but about becoming who He wants you to be. The best child of God.

Let God's presence shape me. Not my friends, not my music or books, not my roles in various groups, but God alone. I need to make time for God to allow Him to shape me and be more of an influence in my life than other things/people.

Friday, July 24, 2009

spiritual gifts

Originally posted in 2006, here are some updates...

Within the past "three" years (06, 05, 04), I've taken spiritual gifts survey things....We took one on Sunday and I thought I would dig out my others. Of course, this is just three years in a row, so I'm not sure they're going to show any major switches.

July 2004:
1. Hospitality, Missionary
2. Helps, Service, Knowledge

August 2005:
1. Missionary
2. Helps
3. Service

June 2006: (different test)
1. Encouragement, Service
2. Knowledge
3. Helps

Hmm so the constants have been:
3 out of 3: Helps, Service
2 of 3: Knowledge, Missionary
1 of 3: Encouragement, Hospitality

Nothing about teaching on there whatsoever. Then again, I think it's about teaching the Bible, not other stuff.

In 2009:
1. Helps
2. Pastor/Shepherd
3. Knowledge
4. Apostleship

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Birthday update

So, today is my 22nd birthday! This is the first birthday since 19 that I've been in Maryland for some part of the time...for #20, I was in El Paso, and for #21, I was in Ukraine (I've celebrated #17 and #18 in Pennsylvania--the rest were at home in MD).

The past couple days I was with my mom and brother in Troy, NY for his college orientation. I mostly wandered around the campus (and downtown a bit), scoping it out and taking photos. I went to a few of the parent/family sessions, but I've already heard similar spiels from my own college search. It's a great school for engineering/science-type majors, and Adam's going to be studying aeronautical/mechanical engineering. We also met his roommate (for all of about 5 minutes) and got to see the room where he'll live this year. Sadly, I won't be back up to NY for move-in, as I will already be in Ukraine.


The highlights of my birthday were: getting a Snuggie from Adam--yes, one of those blankets with sleeves, advertised on infomercials (he insists that I have to take it to Ukraine)--getting free ice cream at the Carvel shop on the NY State Thruway, eating Chili's (yum yum), and talking to friends. :)

Last month I took the Math Content Knowledge and Math Pedagogy PRAXIS II exams for MD state teacher certification, and I got my results this week -- by MD standards, I passed both of them!!!!

Therefore, at this point in time, I can now apply for certification to teach secondary math in the following states: Colorado, Delaware, Maryland, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Vermont (among others). Other states require additional PRAXIS tests, or have specific requirements (but I may be able to use what I have to get credentials in their state). However, I'm going to wait till I return from Ukraine (whenever that may be), and until I figure out where I will live.

A month from today I will be arriving in Kiev, Ukraine. I still need to pack, and buy some stuff, and do some more preparation for teaching. I also have 3 weeks remaining of working--babysitting a 9 year old girl. That leaves me time in the evenings to run errands and otherwise prepare. For more specific updates on my Ukraine preparation, visit ukrainejh.blogspot.com

I think that's about all for now...I should tidy my room some and prepare for traveling this weekend. On Saturday I am going sailing with my dad and stepmom, and in the evening I'm going to a wedding. After that, I'm speaking at a church, then returning to my dad's house. Whew.

Another ethical justification for not drinking alcohol?

I have a theory that possibly could be used as an ethical justification for not drinking alcohol. But first, some background.

In Living Issues, we learned the approximate amounts of grain it takes to feed certain animals for human consumption. In order to obtain one pound of beef, it takes 15 pounds of feed. For one pound of pork meat, it takes 6 pounds of grain. It takes 5 pounds of feed in order to reap one poind of chicken.
(since I don't have my notebook with me, I found the numbers here)

As you can see, this is not an efficient system, as the energy that is taken from the food is used for more than just muscle development and “beefing up” (so to speak) for the market. If those pounds of grain were redistributed to those in need, rather than used for feeding cattle, a lot fewer people would go hungry and/or die of starvation each and every day. By not eating meat, vegetarians are withdrawing their involvement in this system, even if they may not make a difference as a single individual. (If I were to become a vegetarian, this would be one of my reasons.)

Now, as I understand it, wine is made from fermented grapes, and beer is made from fermented grain (not sure what kind). Could the same reasoning as above be used to decrease the consumption of alcohol? The grain that is being left to ferment could certainly be made into bread for the hungry!

There are probably holes in my theory, two being that many churches use wine for Communion, and that if the grain is going to ferment, it might as well be used for beer. True. However, when so many experience the adverse effects of alcoholism, when so many could use that grain to fill their bellies rather than get a beer belly, why is drinking beer/wine/alcohol for pleasure seen as an option? (Besides that, alcoholic drinks are so expensive—at least what I’ve seen!)

So, go for some Fair Trade coffee or tea or hot chocolate or a smoothie at your local coffeeshop, rather than a drink out on the town, and help break cycles of addiction, poverty, and destruction.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

Thursday, July 02, 2009

love and light.

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. (1 John)

God loves us so much. And what's more, that means we should be proclaiming this love from the rooftops, to anyone and everyone, to know how amazing this love is. Even when we mess up. Even when we have doubts. Even to the loveless. Even when the world lets us down, God's love will never fail us.

THAT is truly amazing, truly good news to be shared.


[img from joshboston.com]

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

General Assembly 2009


So here I am in Orlando, after the first full day of the General Assembly and Conventions of the Church of the Nazarene.

SO GREAT. and also so tiring.

I've seen a number of my friends that I haven't seen in a while and won't see again for a while....to name a few, Fabiola S. from Mexico, friends from ENC (okay, so it's been a month and a half), and missionaries serving all over the world. Also, I've seen people that I've vaguely met before (or even met multiple times like Susie).

I've met so many great people. "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet." So true here, especially considering that I try and make connections between people I know.

It's so cool meeting people from all around the world, and I'm really thankful that I speak Spanish, because it opens more doors and allows me to talk to more people. Two people from Korea taught me how to say hello. While I was watching a tae kwon do group from Korea, I turned to someone from MAC region to ask (in Spanish) where they were from. Turned out they were from Monterey and knew Fabiola. :) The man to my right asked me where I learned Spanish and said I should come study abroad at their place in Ecuador -- too bad I already graduated from college.

Anyway, I'm tired from walking around most of the day and talking to people. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with the missionaries from Ukraine to go over stuff, I guess, since they won't be there when I get there in August.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

on being a grown-up

It's been one month since I graduated from college (and one month until I turn 22).

In some ways I feel like an adult (a "real" one) and in some ways I don't. Sometimes, when I was subbing, I felt professional and other times I felt like the students had pulled one over on me (and I didn't want to appear to the administration that I couldn't handle the students). Depending on who I'm around, I can feel like just a big kid or like an adult. You know, when you're in college, everyone treats you as an adult and gives you responsibilities and you are pretty much on your own for figuring out your day-to-day life. Then, when you come home, you've got a different routine and someone else is trying to make plans for you, or to dictate what needs to be done.

I've not been telling as many stories from my college days--it's almost like I've tucked away those memories in a box in the closet for a later date. But I guess I've got no one that will really appreciate them. Also, I'm not finding too many interesting stories any more--I miss random mealtime or eveningtime conversations with my friends.

On Saturday morning I took my PRAXIS II tests for getting my MD State Teaching Certification in math--math pedagogy and math content knowledge. I think I did slightly better than I was expecting in the pedagogy one (3 essays, 1 hour), but possibly a little worse in the content knowledge (50 multiple choice questions, 2 hours). You never know, though--I guessed on a LOT of my math comps and still passed those. I think/hope I passed my PRAXIS II tests so I don't have to pay more money and do them again--if there is a next time, I'll use actual study books rather than just the free PDF.

This past weekend I traveled to a church in PA to share about my trip(s) to Ukraine. I had a WONDERFUL time and stayed with some really WONDERFUL people (Ken, Diane, Scott, and Maggie). I always enjoy the ride on I-70 West, looking at the mountains, and once I got off the interstate, I was driving on hilly Pennsylvania roads. When I passed the road that I needed to eventually take, I decided to skip the next 3-4 steps that Google gave me and get directly onto the road (thinking it was a shorter way). Turned out I was on "roller coaster road", and that is definitely what it felt like. I went up or down, left or right, and sometimes both at the same time! I never knew which way the road was going to go as soon as I got to the top of a hill.

When I got to the house, I saw there were a bunch of cute little Jack Russell puppies!!! Scott and I sat and played with them for a while--they loved to lick and nibble at my toes and flipflops and fingers. One even fell asleep on my ankle. :)

I mostly sat and talked with Ken and Diane (and at one point, her parents) during and after dinner. Somewhere about 9 pm we decided to get ice cream and check out the showing of "Meet Me in St. Louis" on the courthouse lawn. Around 10:30pm, the movie still wasn't over (we got there after it had started), and Diane asked me, "Are you ready to go?" Sensing that she and Ken were ready, I replied with, "Are YOU ready to go?" :) Sure enough, they were done with sitting at a picnic table watching a movie that was longer than we thought, and I was fine with leaving.

The next morning, I met Maggie, who also had taken PRAXIS II testing for elementary school teaching. (Tiffany, who was a volunteer in Ukraine last year, also took hers this past weekend. Even though I'm no longer with my fellow ENC education majors, I can still find common ground with other present/future teachers!) That afternoon, before we left for the church picnic, she gave me a couple bags of clothes that she no longer needed/wanted--I've kept maybe 2/3 of them! A lot of it I can use for teaching--because it looks nice, and does not consist primarily of t-shirts, like my current wardrobe. :)


Books Currently Reading
Churched, by Matthew Paul Turner
What's Math Got to Do With It? Helping children learn to love their least favorite subject and why it's important for America, by Jo Boaler

Today I also picked up the movie "Speak" from the library; I remember reading the book by Laurie Halse Anderson when I was in middle/high school. It caught my attention because it had Kristen Stewart of Twilight-mania on the cover, and she looked every bit as bland and emotionless as she did in Twilight. (Honestly, I was glad to see Jacob come on the scene at the end of the movie, because he actually looked remotely PLEASANT!)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Strengths Finder and Sorting

Tonight I went out to the shed to organize my plastic totes brought home from college. They are now divided into the following categories:
~sell, donate, or otherwise get rid of
~does NOT go to Ukraine
~requires further attention (paperwork and notebooks and such)
~goes to Ukraine (but will probably be sifted through again)
~"bed, bath, and beyond" (things that I may or may not need for Ukraine, and that I do not need while I am living at home--dishes, bedding, etc.)

On the floor in my room I have another container of things that I may need in Ukraine, and a smaller box of teaching-type stuff. There will be LOTS of sorting this summer! :)

*~*

While I was in the shed, I found my StrengthsFinder book and thought I'd post my top 5 strengths, as of last fall. They are as follows: Connectedness*, Input*, Intellection, Analytical*, Developer.

Connectedness
People strong in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
[I am forever figuring out how I might possibly know people, or what mutual friends we have or others have.]

Input
People strong in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.
[Freshman year, Marie told me this was me in a nutshell. I'm definitely a packrat, and I remember lots of random details. I like to observe and take in info or scenery. Of course, I have to fight being a packrat when it comes to packing lightly for overseas travel!]

Intellection
People strong in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.

Analytical
People strong in the Analytical theme search for reasons and causes. They have the ability to think about all the factors that might affect a situation.

Developer
People strong in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
[I think this one developed (ha ha) over the past couple years as a result of being involved in quizzing and working with students.]

*I took the Strengthsfinder 3 years ago, and these are a few of my continued results. The other strengths at that time were Harmony and Consistency.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Students Say the Darndest Things...

In the past couple weeks, I've been subbing at local middle schools and my high schools. The students have said some pretty entertaining stuff, and though I won't remember them all, here are some quotes for your enjoyment.
____________
Me: Have you done your illustration for the story?
7th grade boy (points to a blank sheet of paper): Yeah, it's right here. Oh, man! I forgot! I shouldn't have used invisible ink! Now I'm going to have to start all over!
____________
7th grade boy, excited about speaking in Spanish to me: Score ONE for the home team! (which might be my new saying. Isn't that sad--picking up sayings from middle schoolers?)
____________
Some girls had this spray candy (think breath freshener, but sour), and offered it to this guy to try.
Guy (coughs): It's not too bad!
Me: Yeah, after the first cough.
____________
After completing all her assignments for the day, this girl asked what else there was to do--I told her there were no more assignments, but she could find something to do while sitting quietly at her desk. "Do you mind if I sit there and sew?" Sew?! Go for it!
____________

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Escapades of the Day

Today I wanted to run a bunch of errands that culminated in a summer job interview. Here's how my day went:

Stop 1: David's Bridal in Glen Burnie
Purpose: Determine my dress size for Jen's wedding.
Mission accomplished, after deciding Google's directions could have been a *little* better.

Then, I successfully navigated Glen Burnie to find an alternate route toward Annapolis! I was quite proud of myself.

Stop 2: bank and Kohl's
Purpose: Buy sunglasses and other stuff.
Found sunglasses, a nice sweater (that I'm NOT wearing this summer, don't worry), and some headbands (free!)

Stop 3: Library
Purpose: Kill time
Mission accomplished. My dad used to take my brother and I here all the time when we spent weekends with him -- we looked at the books for sale, played on the computers (there were enough for both of us to be online at the same time), and of course got books. I hadn't been there in years (at least 4), so it brought back lots of memories.
I was hoping to find some of the books on my reading list, but wasn't very successful--I plan on reserving a bunch of them so I can read them later.
However, I did manage to find some Pimsleur Russian Language audio disks, plus some Eastern Europe travel guides. :)

Stop 4: Barnes and Noble
Purpose: Buy a couple books and a planner for this summer/next year, and kill time
Killing time worked well especially since Google's directions were vague about which direction to go on route 2 -- I think I got into Edgewater, and I knew when I went over the South River bridge that I'd gone the wrong way. Oops. I guess I don't know Anne Arundel County as well as I think.
Books I wanted to buy: Paperdoll by Natalie Lloyd, and What's Math Got to Do With It? by Jo Boaler.
Books BN didn't have: Paperdoll (not even in any of the nearby BN's, how disappointing!) and What's Math Got to Do With It?

Stop 5: Job interview!
I now have a summer job, babysitting a 9 year old girl for about 5 weeks out of the summer. It's right around the corner from my dad's, and though I would like to ride my bike there occasionally, I don't really want to deal with traffic on the main road. Hopefully my bike can fit in my trunk, and Grace's too, because then we can ride bikes (maybe on the B&A trail?).
I'm hoping to find something else to do for the weeks that she'll be at camp, and that I'll be available. Actually, those weeks should probably be spent preparing for teaching in Ukraine--figuring out what supplies I'll need and preparing some lesson ideas.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

"The Beauty of the Cross" (from boundless.org)

Instinctively, I view myself the opposite way. "God really got a great thing when He saved me." Or more subtly, "The Lord has graced me with some special gifts and talents that have really benefited the Kingdom."

What a conceit.

I lie in a desert, naked and sick, blind and crippled, powerless to rise and better my situation. I cling to the cactus of this world, convinced there is no superior way. I don't find love. No, Love travels, searches and calls to me. And when He finds me, I catch my first glimpse of beauty, grace and hope. I see Jesus.

Enraptured by His magnificence, yet caught in the sewer-pipe ideology of my world, I reason that I must give something to purchase my freedom. Such liberty at no cost would be too good to be true. But I have nothing to offer. "Don't aggravate my misery by dangling unattainable peace before my eyes!"

But that's just it. Jesus loves me not for what I offer. Not for the new program I can create to feed millions. Nor for the prettiest voice in the college chorale. Jesus loves me because it's His nature. He loves me simply because I am.

That's the beauty of the cross.

"We must abide in Christ to experience the successful Christian life. When we lean on our own intellect and abilities, we navigate impassable waters. Only when we acknowledge we're finite, fallen and unable to accomplish even the simplest task apart from God and His grace will we be ready to experience the fullness of joy available in this life."

Sunday, June 07, 2009

scatterbrained post.

First off, let me say that I have been reading in John every day and staying on track. (Knowing that there are people out there that I've "told", holds me accountable.) Unfortunately, I'm reading it right before I go to sleep, just as I crawl in bed, so tomorrow I need to read sometime in the afternoon. Otherwise, I'm not soaking God's word in like I should.

Below is a really cute/sweet video, as one of my ENC friends posted on her Facebook. She also wrote a poem inspired by the video. It's my hope that through the rest of this summer and especially during my time in Ukraine that I don't retreat into just corresponding with friends via the Internet and/or Facebook surfing, but keep a healthy balance between friends that are in real life (phone or in person, which will be tough with my traveling) and those that I can now only communicate with via Facebook/email.



On Thursday night, my brother Adam graduated from high school! Yeah! I was sad that the teachers took away bubbles and beach balls that the graduates had with them-- they took away their fun! (We had them at our ENC graduation, and no one took them away. Then again, high school is different from college.) I saw at least 4-5 people that graduated with me from the very same high school 4 years ago, and it was weird to think that those students were US 4 years ago! Most of us have graduated from college, or will soon, and then next year we'll have our 5 year reunion. Crazy.

Last week I subbed at my high school for 4 of the 5 days, and I've gotten more comfortable with the high schoolers -- granted, it helps that it's my alma mater, and my brother would know of some of the students I had. The vice principal, my former history teacher, saw me walking down the hall and say, "Hey, Hagels! How's it going?" I realized that that was strange not just because he had never called me anything like that before, and it was in the school setting, but because that was the first time since graduation that someone has called me by a name other than Jessica, Jess, or Ms. H. Gone are the days when I would hear at least one variation of my name in a day -- Haagen-sausage, Hagels, Caboose (ok, not a variation, but a nickname), Haagen-Daag!, etc.

Today I spoke at my home church, then at Angel's. We played "dress-up", wearing our academic regalia at the same time and posing for photos outside. :) There's a mighty good one of me pretending that my diploma was going to eat hers. On the way back, I got to talk to Jen on the phone, my twin. :) Yay for 2 best friends in one day!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Day 2: John chapter 2

When it comes to reading the Bible, especially if I'm reading it on the computer screen, I'm really bad at staying focused. My mind or my eyes jump around to just about everything else*except* what I'm trying to read, or I just gloss over the reading and don't really soak it in.

This is definitely a discipline in making sure that I only fall into bed each night if I have read some of God's word -- so often, my pillow looks VERY tempting, especially after a day of substitute teaching for students who are ready to be done with school!

2:1-10 (Jesus Changes Water to Wine)
Mary wanted to see her son perform a miracle--maybe it's a mom thing (not that I would know). "Come on, Jesus, do a miracle! Show everyone that you're the Christ!" Jesus didn't want to, or at least, He said His time had not yet come. Yet his (proud) momma trapped him into getting involved.

Even then Jesus didn't just make more wine appear with a snap of his fingers, or with a single word, as easy as that could be. He involved the servants by issuing a couple commands that were probably things they had done at other times--filling the jars with water, and taking (what would usually be) water to the master. That reminds me of the passage where Peter and the others were fishing all night long, catching nothing, but then Jesus told them, "Cast down your nets on the other side of the boat." An ordinary task, one they might have already tried.

Hmm...also, these water jars were used for ceremonial washing, which means they were probably not used for drinking, and probably came into contact with unclean people or items. (I'm not sure, though.) An ordinary jar, used in every day life.

Both of these "ordinary" instances led to extraordinary works/uses by God, resulting in a great catch or the best wine. Isn't it great how God uses the not-so-great for His purposes, even when we wonder how God could use us, what expertise we have, etc.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians)

2:13-16 (Jesus clears the Temple)
Jesus cleared out those who were trying to earn money from God's commands, and not simply enjoy His presence. This is the contrast between *doing* and *being*--when you're in someone's house, you usually focus on just being with them, or if you're helping them, it's so that you can spend more time with them.

I know that sometimes I have gotten caught up in trying to DO ministry, to oversee it or to try and be doing something at any given moment, rather than just spending time with the people that are within that ministry and to focus on building relationships. Or, I focus on the act of reading God's word and not on drawing closer to Him.

Day 1 of reading through the gospel of John

Last night I began my plan to read through the Gospel of John during the month of June (I'll finish on the 21st, but that's okay). I've already started reading it, but I decided to take it a little more slowly and focus on a chapter a day, and then I'll just read other books of the Bible as well (using the May section of Read Thru the Bible).

Here are my thoughts from reading last night, in the NIV.

1:4 "In him was life, and that life was the light of men."

Christ is the light in our darkness. The life that He brings makes everything more visible in our lives...clearer, more definitive, etc. He makes us more like Him, more like who He has called us to be.

1:12-13 "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God--children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

I am a child of God, adopted into God's family, just like any other person. All other Christians are my brothers and sisters, and none of us are superior to the rest in light of our pasts or presents or futures. I'm part of God's family, a community, that will shape me and support me.

1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Christ came to LIVE among US. To live, to move into the neighborhood (I think that's the Message wording), not to simply drop by for a visit and then leave again. He lived among US, messed-up people that we are, showing His glory but also His grace and mercy and truth to point us to a relationship with God.

1:31 "I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel." (John the Baptist speaking)

John knew that the Messiah was coming, but he did not know the details, but still prepared the way for the Lord. The ministry was not his own, but served as a signpost for a greater ministry, Christ's. So often we want details of WHY God wants us to do a particular task, or why not, HOW God will use it to bring glory to His name, etc. I know I'd LOVE to know those details, perhaps have them written on a neon sign that would fall into my lap. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen, at least in that way. Quite simply, we are called to follow Christ, to be in relationship with Him, to point others to Christ.

There's Day 1.

Ideas to keep in mind as I read:
What does this tell me about God's nature?
How does God view humanity?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Reading List...10 summers ago...

Tonight I was cleaning up some stuff in the attic from when I was a kid -- I am constantly going through my old toys, books, and schoolwork and getting rid of stuff, though it's a never ending task -- and I found this. I made a sort of scrapbook page consisting of library receipts, and also had a list of books from my 6th grade reading teacher.

Here are some of the books I read during the summer of 1999, or had read by that point:

Ella Enchanted
The Ballad of Lucy Whipple
Walk Two Moons (Sharon Creech)
Julie of the Wolves
The Talking Earth
The Westing Game
Figgs and Phantoms
Soup's Goat
Lyddie
A Wrinkle in Time
Achingly Alice
Wringer
2095
Knights of the Kitchen Table
Holes
Park's Quest
Half Magic
Bunnicula
Abel's Island
The Master Puppeteer
My Side of the Mountain
The Village by the Sea
Nothing But the Truth
Thames Doesn't Rhyme with James
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Charlotte's Web
Island of the Blue Dolphins
Seventeen Against the Dealer
Homecoming (Voigt)
The Phantom Tollbooth
Watsons Go to Birmingham
Little Women
True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle
Hatchet (Gary Paulsen)
Ice (Phyllis Naylor)
Caddie Woodlawn
Harriet the Spy

Also, in 1996 at age 8 1/2, I wrote the following book report, probably for my Caravan group. In my current opinion, it is the lamest book report ever.

"Esther of the Andes was about Esther Carson Winans who lived in Florida and was born there September 14, 1891. Her mother's name was Anna and her father's was Frank.
"Esther was afraid of nothing. She was a missionary in Peru and married Roger Winans. She liked the mountains very, very much. She died on November 6, 1928."

What were some of your favorite books as a kid? Did you ever do summer reading -- but for fun -- perhaps at the public library?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Bible study, anyone?

Soooo, I've been thinkin'....

This summer, on just about every Sunday morning and evening, I'll be speaking at a different church around the area in order to raise support for this coming year of teaching in Ukraine. Hence, I won't ever really be able to go to my home church's Sunday School group, even if I wasn't living at my dad's once the school year finished (that is of course pending employment near there). Plus, I won't be hearing sermons, as I will be sharing about Ukraine -- I am hesitant to use the term "preaching", but I suppose that IS what I'm doing. While I'm at my dad's, I want to get involved in GracePointe Community's (aka Marley Park's) young adult group that meets on Tuesday nights. If I'm lucky, I may have a Sunday or two off that I could go to their Spanish service or contemporary worship service.

I want to make sure I'm spiritually fed through the summer, and not just from listening to the remaining chapel messages from ENC and other schools that are on my iPod. So much of my time is or will be spent on the computer or reading "fun books" (not textbooks anymore, hallelujah!) that I need to have God's voice not drowned out by other media.

Here's my idea--let me know if you're up for it.

I want to read through the gospel of John through the month of June. My overly-ambitious idea was to read the entire thing each day, but my more realistic goal is to read it each week. That's right, to read the entire book (21 chapters) each week, averaging about 3 chapters a day. This way I can get the Word into my head and life even more (at least, the book of John, anyway).

Actually, I'm really not sure how that first idea lends itself easily to any sort of accountability group or discussion, so maybe we need a plan B. Perhaps a modified version of reading through John -- a chapter a day for within the small group? Where we just read it and then leave comments on a blog or a Facebook note? We could also pick some Christian book to read and discuss--I've got a few listed on here that I'm interested in reading.

Let me know if you're interested, by next Sunday, because I want to start this on June 1, and hopefully continue for the rest of the summer before I leave for Ukraine.

Lovely Paintings....

Tonight I was surfing around on the net and decided that I would post some of my favorite paintings... :)

Dance at Bougival, by Renoir

Anybody know this one? It was hanging at the house where I babysat.


Rainy Day in Venice, by John Rabbetts (Even though there aren't many different colors in this, my eyes are just drawn to the umbrella!)

Guernica, by Picasso. (This is not a lovely painting, I know.)
We learned in Spanish class that this depicts the bombing of a city in Spain, and the painting (helped by Picasso's cubist(?) style) gives you that sense of chaos, disorientation, and disorder that the people experienced.

Las Meninas, by Diego Velazquez. The artist is painting a portrait of the king and queen, who you can see in the mirror in the background. Pretty cool, huh?


The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Rembrandt

Cafe Terrace, by Van Gogh

Hmm, looks like there's a trend in that I seem to like cheerful-looking paintings with bright colors, and mostly those within the Impressionist style. (I need to take another art course--NOT Arts and Music, but a course that will help me match painting styles with the right names!)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Graduation is upon me...

So here I sit, less than 2 days before graduation from college. Holy cow.

I told one of my friends that I didn't like being in this limbo state of being done but not moved out. Plus I am doing a lot of moving this summer, living for a month at my mom's house then 2 months at my dad's before moving to Ukraine on Aug 15. That means a lot of packing and unpacking and packing and living out of a suitcase. I've got a lot of cleaning to do once I get home, by getting rid of things I really don't need or use any more.

I can't believe that in a few short days I won't be with my friends on a regular basis.

Issue #1: I'll miss going to dinner right at 5pm and sitting with my friends, and seeing others, including people within the ENC community that aren't necessarily students (like my quizzers and friends from Wolly). I already miss chapel and the opportunity to see everyone, like faculty and staff. It'll definitely be an adjustment to fit back into my "home" culture.

Issue #2: ENC has become home, and has been home these past couple years. At least, one of my homes (El Paso, Maryland, etc.). So this summer, I'm going home, wherever that is.

This past week has been a great time of concentrated social life...for instance, hiking on Tuesday with the senior class, the mascot-announcement ice cream social, a picnic on Wednesday with friends, movie on Wed. night with Education seniors, etc.

I'm going to miss having the beach nearby. Angel and I walked up there this evening, and just stood on the pier thing, looking out at the water and Boston. I'll miss the semi-quiet atmosphere, and the view of the city, and just riding in the car on Quincy Shore Drive and enjoying the view.

I'll miss the library and having access to a ton of books, even though I wasn't able to read all of the ones I wanted to. Plus, having access to Boston and all kinds of places close by is great.

Here are my grades for this semester:
Student Teaching: A
Student Teaching Seminar: A
Independent Study in Theology: A
:)

Umm, it's time for bed, because tomorrow my family's coming in! (and I have a lot of people to see and things to do...)

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Ukraine blog!

Hi all,

I wanted to let you know that I have begun a blog for this next year in Ukraine.

It can be found at ukrainejh.blogspot.com, and I'll update it periodically. Feel free to leave encouraging comments!

Also, you'll probably be able to find photos on my Facebook account! :)

If you would like to support me financially, you can do so at You + Me + KCA = Teaching Math in Ukraine.

Have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

It's about time for an update...

Hi to all who actually read this thing,

I figured it was about time for me to reflect on what has been going on in my life lately.

Student Teaching
On Friday, I finished teaching at Atlantic. In the morning, I thought I wouldn't really miss it, but in retrospect, I miss the students and some of the teachers.
My classes included 2 sections of 8th grade pre-algebra, 1 section of algebra 1 (8th grade), and I was supposed to teach a 7th grade math class on the last day, but that never happened, unfortunately.
Yes, it was crazy at times; yes, I need to improve on my classroom management skills; yes, I know that I cannot teach math as abstractly as I can understand. Now that I have this semester (or rather, these 12 weeks) with new ideas and new understandings of old ideas under my belt, I'm ready to implement what I've learned.

Ukraine
This next school year, I will be returning to Ukraine to teach math at Kiev Christian Academy!!! I'll be with the middle/high school students, but I'm not sure which classes I'll have just yet. During the summer, I'll be traveling to churches in MD/DE/PA/WV to raise the $10,000-$12,000 that will be used to pay for my expenses while I am there (KCA does not pay a salary). For more info you can check out http://web.nazarene.org/goto/ukrainejh, and I am working on a Ukraine blog.

Finishing Up ENC Life
During the past few days being back on campus for most of the day, I've not really known what to do with myself. I can stay up late and sleep in because I don't really have to be anywhere until lunchtime. However, I know that I have plenty of schoolwork to do -- my Education portfolio is due next Friday, I have an adolescent psychology test to take, and I have to work on things for my independent study.
It's been strange being back in the middle of the day, and it's almost like reverse culture shock. I've been out of the loop for so long about things, or I've heard about events through the grapevine. ENC is a different world from Atlantic--in fact, ENC is a bit of a bubble when it comes to knowing what's going on in the world!
People have asked if I would spend my free weeks at home, but these are my last few weeks with my ENC friends/family--I want to make every moment count!

Wolly Quizzing Quotes

Here they are, for your enjoyment, from the past 3-4 years of quizzing.

October 2006
"He's making a Sri Lanka or something" (Katrina about Mike making this paper thing)
"Oh snap I need a banjo" (Katrina)
"We're in Vermont...Merilyn C...in her minivan...cows...river..."

January 2007
Memorable moments from the past 24 hours:
~Joline stealing Preston away from Kerri (in a SKIT!)
Lori: "I'm going to have to speak to my daughter after this"
Andrew: "No, I'M going to have to speak to your daughter"

~Tenny: "Oh, Preston, Preston"

~Jocey, in Prof's office: "Oh look, a guy in a golden chair!" (pulls bookend out, and the books fall) "oops"

~"This bus felt like a capsizing ship as we went over that bump" (Lucas)

~said enthusiastically, "I'm running on pure adrenaline right now. WOOHOO!!" (Becky)

~Jocey about the earlier chapters, "I still got it" and "Hallelujah!"

~to Becky about 6 yr old Anne pretending she couldn't get up: "She hangs out with you"

~coming back to the dorm and freaking out Magon and Rebekah
Rebekah: "Whose purse is this?"
Magon: "Not mine"
Me, showing up: "Mine"
Rebekah/Magon: "AAAHHH!!"

~Sondra: "Look at your HAIR!"
Joel: "I can't! It's on top of my head!"

~"Why is there a man with an elephant on his head?" (Jocey in Prof's office)

~Joel: "Our worlds are colliding! How'd I get another fork?"

~being amused by a water bottle. Joline was tossing it around on the floor, and managed to get it to stand up. "I bet I couldn't do that again in my LIFE if I tried!" then Matt, Katrina, Joel and I clapped for her and the waterbottle till she DID IT AGAIN!!! hahaha it was amazing.

~Preston: "Let's go! I'm hungry" (right after being really amused by the paddleball toy)
me: "He's probably going to get there, see the food, and change his mind."
Ten minutes later I get to the caf....
Joel: "Where's Preston?"
Kerri: "He left. He wasn't hungry"

~Joel: "I have no problem going back to prison"

February 2007
*Jen on the phone: “Z as in xylophone”
*Jen S: “Do we have to go through New Hampshire?”
*Jess: “Oh look, this snow is powdery” (right foot plunges into snow)
*Jocey: “No! I don’t wanna be a druggie, gosh!”
*Jess: “Who needs vegetables at dinner when you can eat popcorn?”
*Jen: “We do not practice personification here”
*Joel: “I’m a perfectly normal and sane person…compared to the play”
*Sondra’s dream that Prof was on drugs
*Hannah: “It’s called a quiz meet, not a hangout meet”
*Prof: “Smack me if you want—it’ll still hurt”

*Joel: “Someday I want to be laughed with, not at”
Jen: “Say something funny and I’ll laugh with you”

*Prof (about Bible study): “And what does that mean?”
Hannah: “Studying the Bible”

*Lucas: “Who would you like to violently evaporate?” (playing Mafia)
*Jen: “Welcome to New Hampshire! ...I mean Massachusetts!”
*Sondra: “What is it about us with men?” (to Deborah during a game of Guess Who?)
*Deborah: “You’re just gonna lay in a cold box for the rest of your...oh. You’re already dead.”
*Jen: “Belch it out, guys” (for singing)
*Sondra to Billy: “Just think, you could be related to Joel.”
*Joel to Becky: “Much as I love you, I just can’t marry you.”

*Joel: “Are you quizzed out?”
Ryan: “Yes”
Joel: “Why do I get the feeling you’re lying?”

*(Hannah knocks chair over)
Joel/Jess, at the same time: “Shhhh!!!” (laughter) … “She just made a joke and she doesn’t know it.”
Hannah: “What joke?”

Other
*"Luke, look, it's your parents!" (while driving down the road)
"Aww, that's cute."

*Robert to Sondra: "You're not exactly classified a friend yet"

*Deborah: "That's because she's OLD!--er...."

Saturday, March 28, 2009

A Good Finish

This weekend was my last New England quiz meet (not counting Regionals) for a long time, if ever again. Sad. I know I'll see a handful of them at Regionals in a month, or in other contexts, and I'll still "see" them on Facebook. But still, this weekend began my goodbyes that I am saying in the next couple months.

HIGHLIGHTS!

Friday night:
*Hitting the PANIC button on my remote key, thus setting off my car alarm as I opened my trunk. Then when I went to close it, I hit Matt's arm with the trunk hatch. Sorry, Matt.
*We got lost on our way there. Really lost. Like going into downtown Lowell when we didn't have to. I asked a police officer for directions (stereotypically enough, he was at Dunkin's), and then we were looking for VFW parkway, a McDonald's, and... a legit bridge (i.e., one that actually went over water, not a road). We finally found the "legit bridge", and then...made not just one wrong turn, but 2.
*"SLOW--Senior Citizen Zone" and "SENIOR SAFETY ZONE" signs were by the Council on Aging. After taking pictures of these, and following directions from a random person in an apartment complex parking lot, we went back to the original McDonalds.
*There we discovered the road we needed ALL ALONG, and it was next to a LEGIT BRIDGE!!! So frustrating!
*A cold night on the floor--I even had my head inside my sleeping bag! The temperatures were completely opposite from the way they are in my top bunk in Munro.

Saturday
*Quizmastering while ridiculously drowsy--until my hot tea (aka caffeine) kicked in!
*Matt had Jen and I come up after the high school seniors shared what their plans were for after graduation and what quizzing has meant to them, and thanked us for working with quizzing, and all that good stuff. Thanks, Matt for your antics but also your willingness to help!
*Also, a BIG thank you to all the NED quizzing folks that contributed toward my Ukraine trip fund -- the total was $109!!!

Saturday afternoon/evening
*Congratulations to Wolly's JV team (Nick, Emily, Cindi) for making it to Regionals as a JV local team!!! (2nd place)
*Congrats to Robert (varsity) and Nick (JV) for making the all-star teams!!
*Taking pictures of Matt while he was sleeping, and Jen taking pictures of us--I have a look of "I'm going to smile for the camera but I want to make sure I don't drive my car into another car or curb"
*Exhaustion.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

a prayer

When we avoid slowing down
Hedge us in and still our souls
When we ignore your voice
inviting us to be foolish
Release our grip on the need to fit in
give us guts to follow you

Friday, March 06, 2009

College students do not live by ramen alone...

...as simple as that may be.

Tonight begins ENC's spring break, and I (along with many other student teachers and other students) remain on campus. The cafeteria is closed, so we are left to fend for ourselves for food. This is the longest vacation time that I've stayed on campus -- in past years, I've stayed for Easter break (4-day weekend) and J-term break.

I have limited cooking skills/experience....though they increased during my times on YIM. Rachel, Brandi, Angela, and I would go grocery shopping in El Paso, but primarily went out to eat (yeah Sonic!!!). One night we fixed ourselves spaghetti and salad, and even set the table in the fellowship hall--it was quite homey. I think it took us a while to decide what kind of pasta sauce to get, just like when we decided where to eat each day/week. In Ukraine, we fixed a number of our own meals...like "last-resort sandwiches" when we didn't want to take the food on the train and didn't want to do more grocery shopping!

Needless to say, this week is going to be a test of my ability to live on more than ramen, cereal, cookies, EasyMac, etc., and avoid eating out all the time. My goal was to cook for myself, with some degree of nutrition and avoiding prepared/frozen/canned meals, and prove whatever independence I have.

Shopping List ($44.41 in total)
1/2 gallon of milk
Sour cream aka сметана
Shredded cheese
Butter
Black beans
White rice
Spaghetti noodles
Mac and cheese dinner
Loaf of bread
Egg noodles (cheaper than Hamburger Helper, because I wasn't buying the meat)
Corn tortillas
Salsa
Tomato soup
Spaghetti sauce (tomato and basil flavor)
Frozen mixed veggies
Frozen corn/peas
Apples
Goober PB/Jelly combo

Other Foods:
Pi Day celebration pizza on Friday--$2 for 2 slices
plemeni (Ukrainian boiled dumplings, with or without meat), and Ukrainian cheese--$11.30

You may notice the general lack of meat on the list. I have not become a vegetarian, but rather decided that I could manage without meat for the week and a half. It's less expensive that way, and is less that I have to cook.

This food, along with my granola bars and cereal that are already in my room, is to last me for
23-25 meals (if you are wondering about the breakdown, it's 7 breakfasts, 9 lunches, 7 or 8 dinners). I might end up with some "last resort" meals composed of various leftovers. You can't beat open-faced fried onion-tomato-turkey jerky-sandwiches with a slice of Ukranian cheese on top, though. :)

Some of the meals I'm trying:
Black bean quesadillas and salsa
Tomato-vegetable stroganoff (meatless)
PBJ every day for lunch at school
only ONE meal of Mac and Cheese!

So far, I've made myself spaghetti with sauce, which was pretty easy -- boil the spaghetti, warm the sauce. I'm not terribly sure of myself when it comes to timing of all parts of the meal, and the stove in our dorm kitchen, but it worked out (even without a colander!). In my friend's words, "You're so domestic!" Maybe, maybe not.

Here goes...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Of Challenges, Falling Down, and Skiing

We all face challenges in life. Whether they include deaths of loved ones, questions about relationships, discouragements, uncertainties about the future, or any others, we all have to respond to challenges in our lives; we cannot grow without challenges.

"Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."" (John 12:24-25)

In this passage, Jesus is explaining (albeit in codes and parables) that he must die for the benefit of many others. His death on the cross was the whole reason for his being on earth, and was what would glorify God. It may not have been what he would've liked, but it was God's calling for His life, and Jesus wanted to do what would please God, not humankind or himself.

On New Year's Day, I went skiing in Pennsylvania with my dad. We skiied for about 5 hours total (a few hours before lunch, then a couple hours after), which was actually the same amount of time I slept the night before. For the first time, I went on a black diamond slope, which is usually deemed to be among the most difficult on a particular mountain, and usually I only ski on intermediate slopes. "Black Diamond trails tend to be steep (typically 40% and up) and may or may not be groomed"(Wikipedia). I think that the mountains I've skiied on in Vermont and New Hampshire have been bigger and steeper than the one I'm used to in PA, so I have probably already skiied on a black-diamond equivalent. When I first went down Exhibition, I was amazed that it qualified as a black-diamond slope -- then it got steep, and I reconsidered.

When I ski, I tend to keep track of how many times I fall. I feel accomplished when I don't fall too many times. I skiied on this particular black diamond slope about 4 times, and fell twice on those. Another time I fell on an "easier" intermediate slope -- yeah, yeah, I know -- and other times I would fall because people *almost* ran into me or I *almost* ran into them. Toward the end of the day, I just started falling more and more because I was getting tired. Eventually, I decided that I should probably stop, since I wasn't going to gain any more energy, and I was just going to further damage my record of only falling about 5 times that day.

Sometimes I fell because I turned too sharply. Sometimes I fell because others almost hit me, and it made me nervous having too many people skiing around me. Toward the end of the day, I fell because I was tired and wasn't making as much of an effort to keep my balance.

Each time I fell down, I had two options: to keep laying there in the same place, or to get back up again. Or to keep tumbling down the mountain--that was also an option depending on how I fell. I'll admit, once I realized that I was getting tired, it actually felt nice to just stay sitting or laying on the slope for just a minute or two. However, I was a potential hazard to myself and to others coming down the slope...I didn't want to be run over.

We all fall down in life. Some people fall more often than others, for different reasons. The important thing is to get up again. Yes, you do have the options of continuing to tumble down the mountain or to stay in the same place and "enjoy" resting on the cold wet snow, but those are just plain hazardous.

By skiing a few times on an "expert" slope, I hope that it will help me become a better skiier. I would not become a better skiier just by resigning myself to the intermediate or "bunny" slopes.

I cannot be satisfied staying down when I am challenged. If I fall, I have to get back up, and Christ will help me not to fall again. Getting back into the swing of things, i.e., reading God's Word and worshiping and praying, after you've been challenged, is a challenge (for lack of a better term). I also cannot try to avoid all challenges and live a life of smooth sailing -- it's not possible. Following Christ isn't meant to be easy -- "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." (Luke 9:23-24). Our life is not our own.

Next time we are challenged, we will stand strong with the help of God and others. If we fall, we will help each other stand again. God is faithful to finish the work He began in us.

almighty
surround my universe
fill me with peace
represent Christ through opportunity