whatever, God.

You know, I must say I needed that reminder tonight....

Every week, on Wednesday nights, I try to go to Wolly's youth group, where a number of my quizzers are. It lets me see them again, and see how they interact with the others in the group, and see what they are being taught.

Tonight, I debated about going. You know, homework, studying for an exam, and just plain relaxing in my room for an hour and a half. Not to mention, I feel like I just sit there and don't make any major contributions to the group. With that in mind, why go? Will it make a difference to those teens if I go? Wouldn't I have the same effect on them if I just stayed in my room?

I chose to go. When I got there, they were playing Birds on a Perch, so I sat next to Michelle and watched the game (quite entertaining sometimes). We then watched Rich, a Nooma video, and discussed our wealth and blessedness, and how we are saved to bless others. It's not just about us holding onto our wealth (we truly are rich compared to the rest of the world. remember the YIM training camp poverty meal), but about us using what we have to bless others.

Ally shared a story about a missions trip she took to Orlando. The first day she was there, she tore her ACL (?) and could not participate in any of the projects. She was rather disgruntled that she had come all that way to make a difference, but had to lay in bed all day. (She did try to help out, but that just made the problem worse.) When she returned home, she got an email from one of the maintenence guys at the elementary school where her team helped. He told her she had been an "angel" and had just encouraged him (and probably a number of others) through her words, because that's what she had to offer.

It reminded me of this summer. We handed out flyers, we invited people to church, we invited kids to play basketball, we hung out with kids at the parks. Did we always see results right away? Not always, but sometimes, yes. Did we get frustrated, and not feel like doing whatever it was again? Yes.

But did God still use us? Yes. He encouraged the pastors. He gave us great friends in Mexico and El Paso. He brought kids in contact with the churches. He used us to encourage the congregations in music (whether we were singing Battle Hymn of the Republic or Tu Eres Mi Respirar), in our service (painting a Sunday School room), or in just hanging out with our friends in the youth group who will be the future leaders.

I may not teach in Wolly's youth group. I may not lead games. I may not be remembered by half the kids. But for the kids that I have met (Corrine, Wes, Abi, and my quizzers)--well, I just hope that God will use me however He wants, and I will remain available in whatever way. Whether that means I actually connect with the teens this year in a substantial way, or whether I teach the college age Sunday School class, or whether I can chaperone for a one day kids' missions event--whatever it is God has for me, I want to do, and not to have things my own way. "But, God! I really wanted to do this kids' missions event! And I have to travel HOME!?! WHY!?! This is a one-time thing.......I'm glad I went home."

I made a list, wrote down from A to Z
All the ways I thought that You could best use me
Told all my strengths and my abilities
I formed a plan it seemed to make good sense
I laid it out for You so sure You'd be convinced
I made my case, presented my defense
But then I read the letter that You sent me
It said that all You really want from me is just

Whatever, whatever You say
Whatever, I will obey
Whatever, Lord, have Your way
'Cause You are my God, whatever

So strike a match, set fire to the list
Of all my good intentions, all my preconceived ideas
I want to do Your will no matter what it is
Give me faith to follow where You lead me
Oh, Lord, give me the courage and the strength to do

(chorus)

I am not my own
I am Yours and Yours alone
You have bought me with Your blood
Lord, to You and You alone do I belong
And so whatever

(Steven Curtis Chapman, "Whatever")