I am going to do my best to make sure this is NOT a rant, but rather as objective as possible...here goes.
Today my pastor preached on "The Man Who Saved Christmas"--Joseph. He talked about how Joseph's motivation was to take care of the Baby, no matter what.
However, I had a few problems with this sermon, based on the answers I seemed to get to the following questions...
1. What does this sermon tell me about how I am to live?
2. What does this sermon tell me about the nature of Christ?
3. What does this sermon tell me about the nature of Scriptures?
(in no particular order...)
He wondered aloud at how Joseph's friends might have responded to the situation. They might have said, "Do what the Bible says." First of all, it wasn't the Bible as we know it today--it would have been called the Torah, or the Scriptures. Minor detail. Moving right along... He said that in those times, the law called for the stoning to death of a woman who was found pregnant before her marriage--regardless of the father. Clearly Joseph did not have this done--he wanted to divorce her quietly, and not expose her to public disgrace.
Rev. pointed out that Joseph disobeyed the written word of God. He said that it is not always good to do exactly what the Bible says, but that we should look at the wording but also listen to the Spirit. We should also look for the character of God, and discern what God would really do.
I think you are treading some dangerous ground here...I agree that you shouldn't always take the literal interpretation as being the actual facts or what to do today, but sometimes things are symbolic, or later take on another dimension/meaning. What I am thinking about here is the collection of OT laws and the sacrificial system--once Christ came, they were fulfilled and now are reminders of many things: how God set the Jews apart from the nations around them, how God made a way for them to know where they stood with the divine, how God cared for them, etc. In other words, you use the Scripture to interpret itself.
But to say "it is not always good to do exactly what the Bible says"?!? The Bible may not say explicitly what to do, but God is speaking through it. Somebody may hear this, and then go ahead and use it for their own personal gain/benefit, claiming this as support for what they are doing. He did use a verse to support this, but did not explain how the verse supported this statement. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). He did not clarify that "hate" is not hate as we might take it to mean, an intense disliking for someone, but that our love for family and loved ones should seem like hate, because it pales in comparison to our love for God. (That's the most common interpretation I've heard. Any other thoughts?)
I agree that we should listen to the Spirit, because otherwise, the words on the pages are simply ink and space. I agree that we should look for the character of God, because that is what comes through in the writing--not necessarily the human perspective.
In other parts of the sermon (taken from my notes):
We cannot live without unforgettable dreams. God has dreams.
Joseph took care of the baby, at all costs, like the Navajos (?) during WWII with their codes
Another quote from today's sermon caught me: "I think Joseph taught him all he knew about God." WAIT ONE SECOND! Jesus was God. I'm pretty sure Jesus knew himself. Actually, I'm 100% confident. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe Rev. meant that Joseph taught him, not necessarily that Joseph's teachings were all that Jesus knew. But if this was not what he meant--then what does it tell us about the nature of Christ? Was Jesus not divine until a certain point in his life? Were floodgates of knowledge opened when he was x years old? I am curious to know about Jesus's childhood, but that can wait till heaven. Jesus was fully divine and fully human, for all of his time on earth. I'm not sure how the math works out, but that's okay.
One of my issues with these sermons is that I don't get much out of them in terms of how I am to live. This sermon, however, gave me a little bit. That I should look for the character of God when I read the Bible.
I talked to him the other day, and he said it is tough to challenge everyone, because everyone is at different levels spiritually. I agree--I have seen that in terms of teaching math: not everyone is at the same level because some may not need as much to motivate them. However, there has got to be some way to preach so that everyone grows in some way. I think in education that's called multi-level instruction. Is that really possible in preaching? If God's hand is upon your sermon preparation, then I have to believe that God will speak in some way to every person, to some degree.
I'm trying, I'm really trying, to listen for the good, and listen for what God might be telling me. But it's really hard sometimes.
What are your thoughts?
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
cemetery wanderings
Some interesting information I found:
~There were twins born in August in the 1800s sometime, and one died that October, and one in December--not even 6 months old!
~A lot of the epitaphs had to do with resting... "Sleeping sweetly", for example.
~I saw the phrase, "At eveningtime there will be light" which, as I've just learned, comes from Zechariah 14:7.
I inadvertently found the headstone for my great-great-grandparents: Thomas R Starr and R Hattie (Mellott) Starr. He was born in 1867, died in 1951. She lived between 1876 and 1938.
On another headstone for "Henrietta Elizabeth; wife of Stewart Matthews. Born Nov. 20, 1844, died May 4, 1904" also had Proverbs 31:28 on it. "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
classroom experience
Substitute teaching is a lot like babysitting. The students already have a routine, and all you do is come in and make sure they are following that routine--doing their work.
Today I did 5th grade at my old elementary school--if my cousin had been there, she'd have been in my class. These students were more on task than the ones I had yesterday, and I also took many turns about the room. I also tried to use more nonverbal indications that I saw them goofing off and that they should get back on task (proximity and eye contact). It was "exciting" to see that work. However, I had about 5 students complain, "My stomach hurts" and wanting to go to the nurse. Only one really had a legitimate complain, and later went home. At the end of the day (after I had run out of nurse's slips, actually), the nurse told me to just be firm with them, and that they were simply doing it because I was the substitute.
I could also tell which students were the ones with special needs, not just by their academics or their attention span, but also by the way they interacted with others. One girl told me, almost in a Drew-Barrymore-type way, "You're nice." Made me smile on the inside.
It was both strange and fun to be on "the other side of the teacher's desk," by teaching at my old school. It was nice to see my teachers again, but at the same time, I was just catching up with everyone, and many of them remembered me. I did get some insights as to how MD schools work, differently than MA schools. I remember when I was a fifth grader, that we changed classes in 4th and 5th grades--but now the supervisor of curriculum and instruction is opposed to any departmentalization in elementary school. One of my fifth grade teachers thinks that not even sixth graders should change classes--they're not ready for it. This same teacher said to me, "You'll probably be back" (in terms of coming to the county to teach). I don't know about that....
The culture here is also different than what I've been used to in Quincy. Only one student (of the two schools so far) has made any indication of being a Patriots or Red Sox fan. Down here, there are more fans of Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens, and various other teams. Yesterday, at one school's "Sports Day" for their "spirit week", I saw ONE Maine hockey jersey and nothing for sports teams from New York or Boston/New England. Bizarre.
Today I did 5th grade at my old elementary school--if my cousin had been there, she'd have been in my class. These students were more on task than the ones I had yesterday, and I also took many turns about the room. I also tried to use more nonverbal indications that I saw them goofing off and that they should get back on task (proximity and eye contact). It was "exciting" to see that work. However, I had about 5 students complain, "My stomach hurts" and wanting to go to the nurse. Only one really had a legitimate complain, and later went home. At the end of the day (after I had run out of nurse's slips, actually), the nurse told me to just be firm with them, and that they were simply doing it because I was the substitute.
I could also tell which students were the ones with special needs, not just by their academics or their attention span, but also by the way they interacted with others. One girl told me, almost in a Drew-Barrymore-type way, "You're nice." Made me smile on the inside.
It was both strange and fun to be on "the other side of the teacher's desk," by teaching at my old school. It was nice to see my teachers again, but at the same time, I was just catching up with everyone, and many of them remembered me. I did get some insights as to how MD schools work, differently than MA schools. I remember when I was a fifth grader, that we changed classes in 4th and 5th grades--but now the supervisor of curriculum and instruction is opposed to any departmentalization in elementary school. One of my fifth grade teachers thinks that not even sixth graders should change classes--they're not ready for it. This same teacher said to me, "You'll probably be back" (in terms of coming to the county to teach). I don't know about that....
The culture here is also different than what I've been used to in Quincy. Only one student (of the two schools so far) has made any indication of being a Patriots or Red Sox fan. Down here, there are more fans of Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens, and various other teams. Yesterday, at one school's "Sports Day" for their "spirit week", I saw ONE Maine hockey jersey and nothing for sports teams from New York or Boston/New England. Bizarre.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
this is a call
Two days I returned "home" from college for Christmas break, with an intention of substitute teaching while QA schools were still in session. I figured it'd be a good way for me to get some teaching experience, and earn some money on the side. :)
On Saturday, I called the Central Call System to see if any jobs were available. The way Central Call works is that the automated system will list potential jobs for one's acceptance or rejection, and gives the teacher's name, grade, and time. There are set time periods where the system will call potential substitutes in the morning and evening.
Once I got back from church tonight, I made sure my phone's ringer was on, so that I would be ready for any calls from the system. Around 8pm, my phone rang, and the caller ID indicated that it was from the town where my Board of Education is. Putting aside my brother's math question for the time being, I answered the phone and paid close attention. I followed the steps of the automated recordings, and listened to the job listing at KES in 3rd grade. Knowing that the system also records whether or not you accept jobs, I chose to accept this job. Third graders are fun too. :D
After a little while, I began preparing for the next day--making my lunch (I've had enough caf food for awhile), and figuring out what I should take with me.
I couldn't help but notice the parallels in this situation to listening for God's call. We should be aware of when God might be calling us or speaking to us--which is really any time, not just a few hours out of the day. When He does call us, we should be ready to listen and obey, disregarding other concerns (even family-?). Because He has called us, we should be willing to accept that call, no matter what it is.
After that, we should prepare for whatever it is God has called us. It could be beginning to take the next steps, researching the scenario, or otherwise preparing and obeying.
On Saturday, I called the Central Call System to see if any jobs were available. The way Central Call works is that the automated system will list potential jobs for one's acceptance or rejection, and gives the teacher's name, grade, and time. There are set time periods where the system will call potential substitutes in the morning and evening.
Once I got back from church tonight, I made sure my phone's ringer was on, so that I would be ready for any calls from the system. Around 8pm, my phone rang, and the caller ID indicated that it was from the town where my Board of Education is. Putting aside my brother's math question for the time being, I answered the phone and paid close attention. I followed the steps of the automated recordings, and listened to the job listing at KES in 3rd grade. Knowing that the system also records whether or not you accept jobs, I chose to accept this job. Third graders are fun too. :D
After a little while, I began preparing for the next day--making my lunch (I've had enough caf food for awhile), and figuring out what I should take with me.
I couldn't help but notice the parallels in this situation to listening for God's call. We should be aware of when God might be calling us or speaking to us--which is really any time, not just a few hours out of the day. When He does call us, we should be ready to listen and obey, disregarding other concerns (even family-?). Because He has called us, we should be willing to accept that call, no matter what it is.
After that, we should prepare for whatever it is God has called us. It could be beginning to take the next steps, researching the scenario, or otherwise preparing and obeying.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Ukraine thoughts
Going to the Ukraine, or even to my second YIM choice, Portugal, is going to be a lot different than anything I've ever experienced.
I speak English, Spanish, and a little bit of French--nothing related to Ukrainian or Russian that would even help me out a bit.....According to my mom, my doctor said that if I'm working with kids, they'll probably speak English. I am in no way counting on ANYTHING. haha.
I've never travelled over the Atlantic--my cross-cultural experiences have been with English or Spanish speakers for the most part, with maybe a little that one night I went to something at Quincy Chinese COTN....
Not to mention the process of raising money AND paying for other stuff too...like car insurance and a cell phone bill.
But you know, I figure, if God wants me to go on this trip, He will provide. He will work everything out. I just have to trust Him. These are easier said than done, of course. I'm going to try my hardest not to get ahead of myself in terms of planning for next summer (May and August), even though I've got some ideas about what to do. It may even mean sacrificing some things that I would really like to do.
I speak English, Spanish, and a little bit of French--nothing related to Ukrainian or Russian that would even help me out a bit.....According to my mom, my doctor said that if I'm working with kids, they'll probably speak English. I am in no way counting on ANYTHING. haha.
I've never travelled over the Atlantic--my cross-cultural experiences have been with English or Spanish speakers for the most part, with maybe a little that one night I went to something at Quincy Chinese COTN....
Not to mention the process of raising money AND paying for other stuff too...like car insurance and a cell phone bill.
But you know, I figure, if God wants me to go on this trip, He will provide. He will work everything out. I just have to trust Him. These are easier said than done, of course. I'm going to try my hardest not to get ahead of myself in terms of planning for next summer (May and August), even though I've got some ideas about what to do. It may even mean sacrificing some things that I would really like to do.
Rob Bell: The Gods Aren't Angry Tour
The following are some quotes and thoughts I had this past weekend, and I've bolded the ones I found significant....It was an AMAZING talk/lecture, and I can't wait for the DVD.
*Challenging in that I should look for ways to be an "agent of blessing," a minister of reconciliation in the world, in my very community (which is by and large a Christian bubble....that needs to change)
*Amusing...quotes
*Tidbits I had never heard before, or new (more dimensional) ways of looking at the same old Sunday School stories
"Cave husband goes on a hunt when he's not selling auto insurance"
"Watch how articulate I am"
bursting of life force, breath, etc.
forces she is totally dependent on, beyond her control
gave personalities to these life forces
Artemis = Greek goddess of hunting, and also protector of small animals (hahahaha)
Sumer: Nin-Kossi = goddess of beer-"like the Tigris and the Euphrates"
projections of human behavior--these forces are somewhere else, doing what they do, we react to their movements, and we need these forces on our side
offer sacrifices, high place (to go up), altars
tragic flaw in the concept: vicious cycle, vortex of anxiety:
if things went well, you offered more in your sacrifice
if things went poorly, you offered more to appease the gods
never quite know where you stood with the gods
examples of trying to keep gods appeased:
Baal: followers cut themselves to show how devoted they were--shed their own blood
"Sardis--known for their choirs" Kibbalah spring ritual
Molech: offered firstborn in the fire
"if you've ever been trapped in a hotel and Gideon got there first"
Abraham:
Sumerian gods are detached: but this divine Being was acting within human history and interacting within time
"to leave his father's household" meant to leave the worldview his father taught and how to navigate the forces out of his control
"a whole new tomorrow"
Sumerians: history is cyclical
this story insisted tomorrow is not an extension of today
be an "agent of blessing" to others--purpose is not to try and bless the gods: radical new idea
Sumerians worshiped the stars: "this God used the other gods as props!"
"Eventually father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had father Abraham..." :)
first mention of love in the Bible
"His greatness comes from his willingness to kill his son--flannelgraph that!"
why doesn't Abraham question it--it's as if it's a normal thing: gods demand what is most precious
story ends with God providing, not showing how great Abraham is
brand new day for Abraham: God telling him, "I don't operate like that"
not about humans providing for gods
trust, intimate relationship
Leviticus: "It's like a B-grade slasher movie--here's how to kill things and where to put the blood"
what to do with redemption
*animal/grain offerings: "Come near to God": idea of nearness to the divine was a new idea for humanity
*everything in its right place: word related to shalom
meal celebrates being at peace with the divine and with others--humans can know where they stand with the divine
*types of sacrifices
then the matter is over
dragging culture forward
people making gain off of guilt and fear of the masses: priests (Sadducees) got a cut of the sacrifices, and so they had a vested interest in that system, a system of violence
were connected to the Roman government, so it was an entire military-economic-religious system
Jesus:
"one greater than the Temple is here"
driving out the moneychangers: gesture to sear upon their conscience
living breathing sermon--this way is over
"Destroy this temple and I will rebuild it in 3 days"
identifies himself with the system (new way), to render old system obsolete, so they killed him
"put away your sword"--if He resorts to violence, has He offered anything new? [like nonviolent resistance: Gandhi]
cutting and suicide attempts of teens wanting acceptance
Masai elders: no way to reenter in relationship of community--man on edge of village
brokenness, suffering
do we bow down to some of the same forces that are never satisfied at all?
for Jews: wrestle with implications of Jesus being killed by the system
new day for all of humanity, not just one sect
writer of Hebrews: "culmination of the ages"
by ultimate sacrifice of himself
Colossians: made peace, reconciling all things through Jesus
eliminating human compulsion
not having to offer sacrifices anymore
"Jesus saves the goats and the chickens" (guy in Rwanda)
Psalm 50-blood unneeded
Micah-blood doesn't please God
Hebrews-impossible
blood was for your conscience, human need
sacrifice--matter is done
ritual would help you go through the experience, with a God you can be at peace with
centers you, reawakens you to reconciliation of all things
not going to church: why do you go? to ease God anxiety? wronged some Being?
peace that has already been made
shouldn't pile you with more obligations
put him back together, so he can bring reconciliation
our sacrifice to please God: serve others
Romans 12:1--put flesh and blood on this reconciliation
and my FAVORITE part, the BEST part...
"You don't have to live like this anymore. You don't have to live like this...."
girl who cuts: "You don't embarrass me"
Jesus' exact words: "I don't remember."
He leaned down and kissed her crooked mouth, and said, "I like it."
"No one has ever trusted me like this before."
minivan full of groceries
giving the house to the single mom
*Challenging in that I should look for ways to be an "agent of blessing," a minister of reconciliation in the world, in my very community (which is by and large a Christian bubble....that needs to change)
*Amusing...quotes
*Tidbits I had never heard before, or new (more dimensional) ways of looking at the same old Sunday School stories
"Cave husband goes on a hunt when he's not selling auto insurance"
"Watch how articulate I am"
bursting of life force, breath, etc.
forces she is totally dependent on, beyond her control
gave personalities to these life forces
Artemis = Greek goddess of hunting, and also protector of small animals (hahahaha)
Sumer: Nin-Kossi = goddess of beer-"like the Tigris and the Euphrates"
projections of human behavior--these forces are somewhere else, doing what they do, we react to their movements, and we need these forces on our side
offer sacrifices, high place (to go up), altars
tragic flaw in the concept: vicious cycle, vortex of anxiety:
if things went well, you offered more in your sacrifice
if things went poorly, you offered more to appease the gods
never quite know where you stood with the gods
examples of trying to keep gods appeased:
Baal: followers cut themselves to show how devoted they were--shed their own blood
"Sardis--known for their choirs" Kibbalah spring ritual
Molech: offered firstborn in the fire
"if you've ever been trapped in a hotel and Gideon got there first"
Abraham:
Sumerian gods are detached: but this divine Being was acting within human history and interacting within time
"to leave his father's household" meant to leave the worldview his father taught and how to navigate the forces out of his control
"a whole new tomorrow"
Sumerians: history is cyclical
this story insisted tomorrow is not an extension of today
be an "agent of blessing" to others--purpose is not to try and bless the gods: radical new idea
Sumerians worshiped the stars: "this God used the other gods as props!"
"Eventually father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had father Abraham..." :)
first mention of love in the Bible
"His greatness comes from his willingness to kill his son--flannelgraph that!"
why doesn't Abraham question it--it's as if it's a normal thing: gods demand what is most precious
story ends with God providing, not showing how great Abraham is
brand new day for Abraham: God telling him, "I don't operate like that"
not about humans providing for gods
trust, intimate relationship
Leviticus: "It's like a B-grade slasher movie--here's how to kill things and where to put the blood"
what to do with redemption
*animal/grain offerings: "Come near to God": idea of nearness to the divine was a new idea for humanity
*everything in its right place: word related to shalom
meal celebrates being at peace with the divine and with others--humans can know where they stand with the divine
*types of sacrifices
then the matter is over
dragging culture forward
people making gain off of guilt and fear of the masses: priests (Sadducees) got a cut of the sacrifices, and so they had a vested interest in that system, a system of violence
were connected to the Roman government, so it was an entire military-economic-religious system
Jesus:
"one greater than the Temple is here"
driving out the moneychangers: gesture to sear upon their conscience
living breathing sermon--this way is over
"Destroy this temple and I will rebuild it in 3 days"
identifies himself with the system (new way), to render old system obsolete, so they killed him
"put away your sword"--if He resorts to violence, has He offered anything new? [like nonviolent resistance: Gandhi]
cutting and suicide attempts of teens wanting acceptance
Masai elders: no way to reenter in relationship of community--man on edge of village
brokenness, suffering
do we bow down to some of the same forces that are never satisfied at all?
for Jews: wrestle with implications of Jesus being killed by the system
new day for all of humanity, not just one sect
writer of Hebrews: "culmination of the ages"
by ultimate sacrifice of himself
Colossians: made peace, reconciling all things through Jesus
eliminating human compulsion
not having to offer sacrifices anymore
"Jesus saves the goats and the chickens" (guy in Rwanda)
Psalm 50-blood unneeded
Micah-blood doesn't please God
Hebrews-impossible
blood was for your conscience, human need
sacrifice--matter is done
ritual would help you go through the experience, with a God you can be at peace with
centers you, reawakens you to reconciliation of all things
not going to church: why do you go? to ease God anxiety? wronged some Being?
peace that has already been made
shouldn't pile you with more obligations
put him back together, so he can bring reconciliation
our sacrifice to please God: serve others
Romans 12:1--put flesh and blood on this reconciliation
and my FAVORITE part, the BEST part...
"You don't have to live like this anymore. You don't have to live like this...."
girl who cuts: "You don't embarrass me"
Jesus' exact words: "I don't remember."
He leaned down and kissed her crooked mouth, and said, "I like it."
"No one has ever trusted me like this before."
minivan full of groceries
giving the house to the single mom
Saturday, October 27, 2007
a sneaking suspicion....
Thoughts after reading Oswald Chambers for Thursday:
I'd like to make an impact on these youth, but more importantly, I want Christ to be in their lives. Doesn't matter what I do.
It's not about what I do or how well I can connect with people. What's important is that I am giving them opportunities to encounter Christ and His love, and that I am someone God could use. The rest is up to Him.
It's not important what I can do for or with youth/people I minister to. It's important that I am following Christ, that I am encountering His grace and love and learning His word. God will take it from there. That's all I have to be concerned with.
Then, chapel with Bob Skinner, missionary to the Ukraine:
"Ok, God, you want football? I want You."
"Send me!" --he said yes to where God was sending him
God needs to know we want Him more than anything else in this world
My devotional for today was titled, "The Method of Missions" (also Oswald Chambers).
"Yet you cannot make disciples unless you are a disciple yourself."
" 'Don't rejoice in successful service--the great secret of joy is that you have the right relationship with Me' " (in essence what Jesus said, Luke 10:17-20)
"His one and only purpose is to disciple men and women to Jesus."
challenge to the missionary: Do we believe that Christ is able to do this? (Mt 9:28)
So what I'm thinking here is, is God trying to tell me something? i.e., is He calling me to be a missionary, get involved in ministry somehow for the rest of my life? Yeah, teaching middle schoolers (and doing it well) is a form of ministry/missions, and we are all called to reach out to those in our own communities, but could God be calling me to something bigger?
I don't want to overthink or underthink this, nor do I want to say something decisive too soon and face the possibility of going back on it.
little later....
I was working on my math homework, and the song Alive by Rebecca St James started playing on my iTunes. This line caught my attention: "It's only when I let go of what I want in this life." Could God maybe actually want me to do YIM next summer? I don't know. What I do know, is I need to take Adolescent Development next summer otherwise I don't graduate on time. Unless they'll let me walk the stage (is that the phrase) and take the course later. Cuz graduating with my class is pretty important to me. This just opens a whole new can of worms...
I'd like to make an impact on these youth, but more importantly, I want Christ to be in their lives. Doesn't matter what I do.
It's not about what I do or how well I can connect with people. What's important is that I am giving them opportunities to encounter Christ and His love, and that I am someone God could use. The rest is up to Him.
It's not important what I can do for or with youth/people I minister to. It's important that I am following Christ, that I am encountering His grace and love and learning His word. God will take it from there. That's all I have to be concerned with.
Then, chapel with Bob Skinner, missionary to the Ukraine:
"Ok, God, you want football? I want You."
"Send me!" --he said yes to where God was sending him
God needs to know we want Him more than anything else in this world
My devotional for today was titled, "The Method of Missions" (also Oswald Chambers).
"Yet you cannot make disciples unless you are a disciple yourself."
" 'Don't rejoice in successful service--the great secret of joy is that you have the right relationship with Me' " (in essence what Jesus said, Luke 10:17-20)
"His one and only purpose is to disciple men and women to Jesus."
challenge to the missionary: Do we believe that Christ is able to do this? (Mt 9:28)
So what I'm thinking here is, is God trying to tell me something? i.e., is He calling me to be a missionary, get involved in ministry somehow for the rest of my life? Yeah, teaching middle schoolers (and doing it well) is a form of ministry/missions, and we are all called to reach out to those in our own communities, but could God be calling me to something bigger?
I don't want to overthink or underthink this, nor do I want to say something decisive too soon and face the possibility of going back on it.
little later....
I was working on my math homework, and the song Alive by Rebecca St James started playing on my iTunes. This line caught my attention: "It's only when I let go of what I want in this life." Could God maybe actually want me to do YIM next summer? I don't know. What I do know, is I need to take Adolescent Development next summer otherwise I don't graduate on time. Unless they'll let me walk the stage (is that the phrase) and take the course later. Cuz graduating with my class is pretty important to me. This just opens a whole new can of worms...
Saturday, October 20, 2007
waltzing....matilda?
Tonight was a fun night at the Homecoming Banquet. This is the first time during my college career that they've had a banquet type thing--well, last year they had something in the caf, but it was included with dinnertime. This time they had a dressy thing in the gym, "A night in Paris" (think Eiffel Towers and random lamp posts and lights all around). I wasn't too fond of the idea of going, and dressing up (mostly cuz I'm a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl whenever possible), but I borrowed a dress from Jen and ended up going.
It was a lot of fun to see people dressed up. I was a wallflower for the most part--and this night was the closest I've ever been to a school dance (I never went to high school Homecoming dances or prom). After a while, I lost track of my roommates (you would think that might be impossible), so I hung out with Lucas KP (one of my quizzers) and Jen. Lucas was looking quite dapper, dressed up, and with his shirt tucked in! Can it be? :)
After the coronation (which does seem somewhat overdone--let's show life picture slideshows and then put capes and crowns on two individuals, and let that be that), while people were leaving, Jen was trying to get rid of all the leftover food (she had worked for the catering). We kept telling people to take as much as they wanted--people left with napkinfuls and boxfuls of cookies and pocketfuls of carrots--just to have it gone. It was quite fun. (I, however, managed to walk out with NOTHING--somehow that slipped by Jen)
After a while, there were just a few of us non-SGA folk still around, and Jen started teaching us how to waltz. I won't remember tomorrow how to do it. First she showed us altogether, and then we all paired off. So yup, I danced with Justin and then Paul, and it was fun--I'm not 100% coordinated, but maybe with practice?
Yeah, Nazarenes don't dance. But this Nazarene did tonight. Haha.
It was a lot of fun to see people dressed up. I was a wallflower for the most part--and this night was the closest I've ever been to a school dance (I never went to high school Homecoming dances or prom). After a while, I lost track of my roommates (you would think that might be impossible), so I hung out with Lucas KP (one of my quizzers) and Jen. Lucas was looking quite dapper, dressed up, and with his shirt tucked in! Can it be? :)
After the coronation (which does seem somewhat overdone--let's show life picture slideshows and then put capes and crowns on two individuals, and let that be that), while people were leaving, Jen was trying to get rid of all the leftover food (she had worked for the catering). We kept telling people to take as much as they wanted--people left with napkinfuls and boxfuls of cookies and pocketfuls of carrots--just to have it gone. It was quite fun. (I, however, managed to walk out with NOTHING--somehow that slipped by Jen)
After a while, there were just a few of us non-SGA folk still around, and Jen started teaching us how to waltz. I won't remember tomorrow how to do it. First she showed us altogether, and then we all paired off. So yup, I danced with Justin and then Paul, and it was fun--I'm not 100% coordinated, but maybe with practice?
Yeah, Nazarenes don't dance. But this Nazarene did tonight. Haha.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
many options
So I have many options on where to go upon graduation. Here are just a few:
~teach in MD. ordinary/everyday option.
~teach in MD then go elsewhere
~Boston Teacher Residency (www.bpe.org/btr)
~teach in an international school in Bulgaria
~teach anywhere.
~WHO KNOWS!?!
~teach in MD. ordinary/everyday option.
~teach in MD then go elsewhere
~Boston Teacher Residency (www.bpe.org/btr)
~teach in an international school in Bulgaria
~teach anywhere.
~WHO KNOWS!?!
whatever, God.
You know, I must say I needed that reminder tonight....
Every week, on Wednesday nights, I try to go to Wolly's youth group, where a number of my quizzers are. It lets me see them again, and see how they interact with the others in the group, and see what they are being taught.
Tonight, I debated about going. You know, homework, studying for an exam, and just plain relaxing in my room for an hour and a half. Not to mention, I feel like I just sit there and don't make any major contributions to the group. With that in mind, why go? Will it make a difference to those teens if I go? Wouldn't I have the same effect on them if I just stayed in my room?
I chose to go. When I got there, they were playing Birds on a Perch, so I sat next to Michelle and watched the game (quite entertaining sometimes). We then watched Rich, a Nooma video, and discussed our wealth and blessedness, and how we are saved to bless others. It's not just about us holding onto our wealth (we truly are rich compared to the rest of the world. remember the YIM training camp poverty meal), but about us using what we have to bless others.
Ally shared a story about a missions trip she took to Orlando. The first day she was there, she tore her ACL (?) and could not participate in any of the projects. She was rather disgruntled that she had come all that way to make a difference, but had to lay in bed all day. (She did try to help out, but that just made the problem worse.) When she returned home, she got an email from one of the maintenence guys at the elementary school where her team helped. He told her she had been an "angel" and had just encouraged him (and probably a number of others) through her words, because that's what she had to offer.
It reminded me of this summer. We handed out flyers, we invited people to church, we invited kids to play basketball, we hung out with kids at the parks. Did we always see results right away? Not always, but sometimes, yes. Did we get frustrated, and not feel like doing whatever it was again? Yes.
But did God still use us? Yes. He encouraged the pastors. He gave us great friends in Mexico and El Paso. He brought kids in contact with the churches. He used us to encourage the congregations in music (whether we were singing Battle Hymn of the Republic or Tu Eres Mi Respirar), in our service (painting a Sunday School room), or in just hanging out with our friends in the youth group who will be the future leaders.
I may not teach in Wolly's youth group. I may not lead games. I may not be remembered by half the kids. But for the kids that I have met (Corrine, Wes, Abi, and my quizzers)--well, I just hope that God will use me however He wants, and I will remain available in whatever way. Whether that means I actually connect with the teens this year in a substantial way, or whether I teach the college age Sunday School class, or whether I can chaperone for a one day kids' missions event--whatever it is God has for me, I want to do, and not to have things my own way. "But, God! I really wanted to do this kids' missions event! And I have to travel HOME!?! WHY!?! This is a one-time thing.......I'm glad I went home."
I made a list, wrote down from A to Z
All the ways I thought that You could best use me
Told all my strengths and my abilities
I formed a plan it seemed to make good sense
I laid it out for You so sure You'd be convinced
I made my case, presented my defense
But then I read the letter that You sent me
It said that all You really want from me is just
Whatever, whatever You say
Whatever, I will obey
Whatever, Lord, have Your way
'Cause You are my God, whatever
So strike a match, set fire to the list
Of all my good intentions, all my preconceived ideas
I want to do Your will no matter what it is
Give me faith to follow where You lead me
Oh, Lord, give me the courage and the strength to do
(chorus)
I am not my own
I am Yours and Yours alone
You have bought me with Your blood
Lord, to You and You alone do I belong
And so whatever
(Steven Curtis Chapman, "Whatever")
Every week, on Wednesday nights, I try to go to Wolly's youth group, where a number of my quizzers are. It lets me see them again, and see how they interact with the others in the group, and see what they are being taught.
Tonight, I debated about going. You know, homework, studying for an exam, and just plain relaxing in my room for an hour and a half. Not to mention, I feel like I just sit there and don't make any major contributions to the group. With that in mind, why go? Will it make a difference to those teens if I go? Wouldn't I have the same effect on them if I just stayed in my room?
I chose to go. When I got there, they were playing Birds on a Perch, so I sat next to Michelle and watched the game (quite entertaining sometimes). We then watched Rich, a Nooma video, and discussed our wealth and blessedness, and how we are saved to bless others. It's not just about us holding onto our wealth (we truly are rich compared to the rest of the world. remember the YIM training camp poverty meal), but about us using what we have to bless others.
Ally shared a story about a missions trip she took to Orlando. The first day she was there, she tore her ACL (?) and could not participate in any of the projects. She was rather disgruntled that she had come all that way to make a difference, but had to lay in bed all day. (She did try to help out, but that just made the problem worse.) When she returned home, she got an email from one of the maintenence guys at the elementary school where her team helped. He told her she had been an "angel" and had just encouraged him (and probably a number of others) through her words, because that's what she had to offer.
It reminded me of this summer. We handed out flyers, we invited people to church, we invited kids to play basketball, we hung out with kids at the parks. Did we always see results right away? Not always, but sometimes, yes. Did we get frustrated, and not feel like doing whatever it was again? Yes.
But did God still use us? Yes. He encouraged the pastors. He gave us great friends in Mexico and El Paso. He brought kids in contact with the churches. He used us to encourage the congregations in music (whether we were singing Battle Hymn of the Republic or Tu Eres Mi Respirar), in our service (painting a Sunday School room), or in just hanging out with our friends in the youth group who will be the future leaders.
I may not teach in Wolly's youth group. I may not lead games. I may not be remembered by half the kids. But for the kids that I have met (Corrine, Wes, Abi, and my quizzers)--well, I just hope that God will use me however He wants, and I will remain available in whatever way. Whether that means I actually connect with the teens this year in a substantial way, or whether I teach the college age Sunday School class, or whether I can chaperone for a one day kids' missions event--whatever it is God has for me, I want to do, and not to have things my own way. "But, God! I really wanted to do this kids' missions event! And I have to travel HOME!?! WHY!?! This is a one-time thing.......I'm glad I went home."
I made a list, wrote down from A to Z
All the ways I thought that You could best use me
Told all my strengths and my abilities
I formed a plan it seemed to make good sense
I laid it out for You so sure You'd be convinced
I made my case, presented my defense
But then I read the letter that You sent me
It said that all You really want from me is just
Whatever, whatever You say
Whatever, I will obey
Whatever, Lord, have Your way
'Cause You are my God, whatever
So strike a match, set fire to the list
Of all my good intentions, all my preconceived ideas
I want to do Your will no matter what it is
Give me faith to follow where You lead me
Oh, Lord, give me the courage and the strength to do
(chorus)
I am not my own
I am Yours and Yours alone
You have bought me with Your blood
Lord, to You and You alone do I belong
And so whatever
(Steven Curtis Chapman, "Whatever")
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