Sunday, December 23, 2007

uh oh...

I am going to do my best to make sure this is NOT a rant, but rather as objective as possible...here goes.

Today my pastor preached on "The Man Who Saved Christmas"--Joseph. He talked about how Joseph's motivation was to take care of the Baby, no matter what.

However, I had a few problems with this sermon, based on the answers I seemed to get to the following questions...

1. What does this sermon tell me about how I am to live?
2. What does this sermon tell me about the nature of Christ?
3. What does this sermon tell me about the nature of Scriptures?

(in no particular order...)

He wondered aloud at how Joseph's friends might have responded to the situation. They might have said, "Do what the Bible says." First of all, it wasn't the Bible as we know it today--it would have been called the Torah, or the Scriptures. Minor detail. Moving right along... He said that in those times, the law called for the stoning to death of a woman who was found pregnant before her marriage--regardless of the father. Clearly Joseph did not have this done--he wanted to divorce her quietly, and not expose her to public disgrace.

Rev. pointed out that Joseph disobeyed the written word of God. He said that it is not always good to do exactly what the Bible says, but that we should look at the wording but also listen to the Spirit. We should also look for the character of God, and discern what God would really do.

I think you are treading some dangerous ground here...I agree that you shouldn't always take the literal interpretation as being the actual facts or what to do today, but sometimes things are symbolic, or later take on another dimension/meaning. What I am thinking about here is the collection of OT laws and the sacrificial system--once Christ came, they were fulfilled and now are reminders of many things: how God set the Jews apart from the nations around them, how God made a way for them to know where they stood with the divine, how God cared for them, etc. In other words, you use the Scripture to interpret itself.

But to say "it is not always good to do exactly what the Bible says"?!? The Bible may not say explicitly what to do, but God is speaking through it. Somebody may hear this, and then go ahead and use it for their own personal gain/benefit, claiming this as support for what they are doing. He did use a verse to support this, but did not explain how the verse supported this statement. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). He did not clarify that "hate" is not hate as we might take it to mean, an intense disliking for someone, but that our love for family and loved ones should seem like hate, because it pales in comparison to our love for God. (That's the most common interpretation I've heard. Any other thoughts?)

I agree that we should listen to the Spirit, because otherwise, the words on the pages are simply ink and space. I agree that we should look for the character of God, because that is what comes through in the writing--not necessarily the human perspective.

In other parts of the sermon (taken from my notes):
We cannot live without unforgettable dreams. God has dreams.
Joseph took care of the baby, at all costs, like the Navajos (?) during WWII with their codes

Another quote from today's sermon caught me: "I think Joseph taught him all he knew about God." WAIT ONE SECOND! Jesus was God. I'm pretty sure Jesus knew himself. Actually, I'm 100% confident. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe Rev. meant that Joseph taught him, not necessarily that Joseph's teachings were all that Jesus knew. But if this was not what he meant--then what does it tell us about the nature of Christ? Was Jesus not divine until a certain point in his life? Were floodgates of knowledge opened when he was x years old? I am curious to know about Jesus's childhood, but that can wait till heaven. Jesus was fully divine and fully human, for all of his time on earth. I'm not sure how the math works out, but that's okay.

One of my issues with these sermons is that I don't get much out of them in terms of how I am to live. This sermon, however, gave me a little bit. That I should look for the character of God when I read the Bible.

I talked to him the other day, and he said it is tough to challenge everyone, because everyone is at different levels spiritually. I agree--I have seen that in terms of teaching math: not everyone is at the same level because some may not need as much to motivate them. However, there has got to be some way to preach so that everyone grows in some way. I think in education that's called multi-level instruction. Is that really possible in preaching? If God's hand is upon your sermon preparation, then I have to believe that God will speak in some way to every person, to some degree.

I'm trying, I'm really trying, to listen for the good, and listen for what God might be telling me. But it's really hard sometimes.

What are your thoughts?

Friday, December 21, 2007

cemetery wanderings


This afternoon while I was waiting for my car to be serviced, I walked across the street to the cemetery and walked around. Seems as though that is a weird thing for people to do, but I like reading some of the inscriptions, and looking at the really old ones. I'm not creeped out very easily--like my teammates said one time, I'm like Braveheart.

Some interesting information I found:
~There were twins born in August in the 1800s sometime, and one died that October, and one in December--not even 6 months old!
~A lot of the epitaphs had to do with resting... "Sleeping sweetly", for example.
~I saw the phrase, "At eveningtime there will be light" which, as I've just learned, comes from Zechariah 14:7.


[I like the quote at the bottom of this: "How sweet it will be in that beautiful land. So free from all sorrow and pain: With songs on our lips and harps in our hands. To meet one another again."]

I inadvertently found the headstone for my great-great-grandparents: Thomas R Starr and R Hattie (Mellott) Starr. He was born in 1867, died in 1951. She lived between 1876 and 1938.

On another headstone for "Henrietta Elizabeth; wife of Stewart Matthews. Born Nov. 20, 1844, died May 4, 1904" also had Proverbs 31:28 on it. "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

classroom experience

Substitute teaching is a lot like babysitting. The students already have a routine, and all you do is come in and make sure they are following that routine--doing their work.

Today I did 5th grade at my old elementary school--if my cousin had been there, she'd have been in my class. These students were more on task than the ones I had yesterday, and I also took many turns about the room. I also tried to use more nonverbal indications that I saw them goofing off and that they should get back on task (proximity and eye contact). It was "exciting" to see that work. However, I had about 5 students complain, "My stomach hurts" and wanting to go to the nurse. Only one really had a legitimate complain, and later went home. At the end of the day (after I had run out of nurse's slips, actually), the nurse told me to just be firm with them, and that they were simply doing it because I was the substitute.

I could also tell which students were the ones with special needs, not just by their academics or their attention span, but also by the way they interacted with others. One girl told me, almost in a Drew-Barrymore-type way, "You're nice." Made me smile on the inside.

It was both strange and fun to be on "the other side of the teacher's desk," by teaching at my old school. It was nice to see my teachers again, but at the same time, I was just catching up with everyone, and many of them remembered me. I did get some insights as to how MD schools work, differently than MA schools. I remember when I was a fifth grader, that we changed classes in 4th and 5th grades--but now the supervisor of curriculum and instruction is opposed to any departmentalization in elementary school. One of my fifth grade teachers thinks that not even sixth graders should change classes--they're not ready for it. This same teacher said to me, "You'll probably be back" (in terms of coming to the county to teach). I don't know about that....

The culture here is also different than what I've been used to in Quincy. Only one student (of the two schools so far) has made any indication of being a Patriots or Red Sox fan. Down here, there are more fans of Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens, and various other teams. Yesterday, at one school's "Sports Day" for their "spirit week", I saw ONE Maine hockey jersey and nothing for sports teams from New York or Boston/New England. Bizarre.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

this is a call

Two days I returned "home" from college for Christmas break, with an intention of substitute teaching while QA schools were still in session. I figured it'd be a good way for me to get some teaching experience, and earn some money on the side. :)

On Saturday, I called the Central Call System to see if any jobs were available. The way Central Call works is that the automated system will list potential jobs for one's acceptance or rejection, and gives the teacher's name, grade, and time. There are set time periods where the system will call potential substitutes in the morning and evening.

Once I got back from church tonight, I made sure my phone's ringer was on, so that I would be ready for any calls from the system. Around 8pm, my phone rang, and the caller ID indicated that it was from the town where my Board of Education is. Putting aside my brother's math question for the time being, I answered the phone and paid close attention. I followed the steps of the automated recordings, and listened to the job listing at KES in 3rd grade. Knowing that the system also records whether or not you accept jobs, I chose to accept this job. Third graders are fun too. :D

After a little while, I began preparing for the next day--making my lunch (I've had enough caf food for awhile), and figuring out what I should take with me.

I couldn't help but notice the parallels in this situation to listening for God's call. We should be aware of when God might be calling us or speaking to us--which is really any time, not just a few hours out of the day. When He does call us, we should be ready to listen and obey, disregarding other concerns (even family-?). Because He has called us, we should be willing to accept that call, no matter what it is.

After that, we should prepare for whatever it is God has called us. It could be beginning to take the next steps, researching the scenario, or otherwise preparing and obeying.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Ukraine thoughts

Going to the Ukraine, or even to my second YIM choice, Portugal, is going to be a lot different than anything I've ever experienced.

I speak English, Spanish, and a little bit of French--nothing related to Ukrainian or Russian that would even help me out a bit.....According to my mom, my doctor said that if I'm working with kids, they'll probably speak English. I am in no way counting on ANYTHING. haha.

I've never travelled over the Atlantic--my cross-cultural experiences have been with English or Spanish speakers for the most part, with maybe a little that one night I went to something at Quincy Chinese COTN....

Not to mention the process of raising money AND paying for other stuff too...like car insurance and a cell phone bill.

But you know, I figure, if God wants me to go on this trip, He will provide. He will work everything out. I just have to trust Him. These are easier said than done, of course. I'm going to try my hardest not to get ahead of myself in terms of planning for next summer (May and August), even though I've got some ideas about what to do. It may even mean sacrificing some things that I would really like to do.

Rob Bell: The Gods Aren't Angry Tour

The following are some quotes and thoughts I had this past weekend, and I've bolded the ones I found significant....It was an AMAZING talk/lecture, and I can't wait for the DVD.
*Challenging in that I should look for ways to be an "agent of blessing," a minister of reconciliation in the world, in my very community (which is by and large a Christian bubble....that needs to change)
*Amusing...quotes
*Tidbits I had never heard before, or new (more dimensional) ways of looking at the same old Sunday School stories

"Cave husband goes on a hunt when he's not selling auto insurance"
"Watch how articulate I am"
bursting of life force, breath, etc.
forces she is totally dependent on, beyond her control
gave personalities to these life forces
Artemis = Greek goddess of hunting, and also protector of small animals (hahahaha)
Sumer: Nin-Kossi = goddess of beer-"like the Tigris and the Euphrates"

projections of human behavior--these forces are somewhere else, doing what they do, we react to their movements, and we need these forces on our side
offer sacrifices, high place (to go up), altars
tragic flaw in the concept: vicious cycle, vortex of anxiety:
if things went well, you offered more in your sacrifice
if things went poorly, you offered more to appease the gods
never quite know where you stood with the gods
examples of trying to keep gods appeased:
Baal: followers cut themselves to show how devoted they were--shed their own blood
"Sardis--known for their choirs" Kibbalah spring ritual
Molech: offered firstborn in the fire

"if you've ever been trapped in a hotel and Gideon got there first"

Abraham:
Sumerian gods are detached: but this divine Being was acting within human history and interacting within time
"to leave his father's household" meant to leave the worldview his father taught and how to navigate the forces out of his control
"a whole new tomorrow"
Sumerians: history is cyclical
this story insisted tomorrow is not an extension of today
be an "agent of blessing" to others--purpose is not to try and bless the gods: radical new idea
Sumerians worshiped the stars: "this God used the other gods as props!"
"Eventually father Abraham had many sons, and many sons had father Abraham..." :)
first mention of love in the Bible
"His greatness comes from his willingness to kill his son--flannelgraph that!"
why doesn't Abraham question it--it's as if it's a normal thing: gods demand what is most precious
story ends with God providing, not showing how great Abraham is
brand new day for Abraham: God telling him, "I don't operate like that"
not about humans providing for gods
trust, intimate relationship

Leviticus: "It's like a B-grade slasher movie--here's how to kill things and where to put the blood"
what to do with redemption
*animal/grain offerings: "Come near to God": idea of nearness to the divine was a new idea for humanity
*everything in its right place: word related to shalom
meal celebrates being at peace with the divine and with others--humans can know where they stand with the divine
*types of sacrifices
then the matter is over
dragging culture forward

people making gain off of guilt and fear of the masses: priests (Sadducees) got a cut of the sacrifices, and so they had a vested interest in that system, a system of violence
were connected to the Roman government, so it was an entire military-economic-religious system

Jesus:
"one greater than the Temple is here"
driving out the moneychangers: gesture to sear upon their conscience
living breathing sermon--this way is over
"Destroy this temple and I will rebuild it in 3 days"
identifies himself with the system (new way), to render old system obsolete, so they killed him
"put away your sword"--if He resorts to violence, has He offered anything new? [like nonviolent resistance: Gandhi]

cutting and suicide attempts of teens wanting acceptance
Masai elders: no way to reenter in relationship of community--man on edge of village
brokenness, suffering
do we bow down to some of the same forces that are never satisfied at all?

for Jews: wrestle with implications of Jesus being killed by the system
new day for all of humanity, not just one sect
writer of Hebrews: "culmination of the ages"
by ultimate sacrifice of himself
Colossians: made peace, reconciling all things through Jesus
eliminating human compulsion
not having to offer sacrifices anymore
"Jesus saves the goats and the chickens" (guy in Rwanda)

Psalm 50-blood unneeded
Micah-blood doesn't please God
Hebrews-impossible
blood was for your conscience, human need
sacrifice--matter is done
ritual would help you go through the experience, with a God you can be at peace with
centers you, reawakens you to reconciliation of all things
not going to church: why do you go? to ease God anxiety? wronged some Being?

peace that has already been made
shouldn't pile you with more obligations
put him back together, so he can bring reconciliation

our sacrifice to please God: serve others
Romans 12:1--put flesh and blood on this reconciliation

and my FAVORITE part, the BEST part...
"You don't have to live like this anymore. You don't have to live like this...."
girl who cuts: "You don't embarrass me"
Jesus' exact words: "I don't remember."
He leaned down and kissed her crooked mouth, and said, "I like it."
"No one has ever trusted me like this before."
minivan full of groceries
giving the house to the single mom

Saturday, October 27, 2007

a sneaking suspicion....

Thoughts after reading Oswald Chambers for Thursday:
I'd like to make an impact on these youth, but more importantly, I want Christ to be in their lives. Doesn't matter what I do.
It's not about what I do or how well I can connect with people. What's important is that I am giving them opportunities to encounter Christ and His love, and that I am someone God could use. The rest is up to Him.
It's not important what I can do for or with youth/people I minister to. It's important that I am following Christ, that I am encountering His grace and love and learning His word. God will take it from there. That's all I have to be concerned with.

Then, chapel with Bob Skinner, missionary to the Ukraine:
"Ok, God, you want football? I want You."
"Send me!" --he said yes to where God was sending him
God needs to know we want Him more than anything else in this world

My devotional for today was titled, "The Method of Missions" (also Oswald Chambers).
"Yet you cannot make disciples unless you are a disciple yourself."
" 'Don't rejoice in successful service--the great secret of joy is that you have the right relationship with Me' " (in essence what Jesus said, Luke 10:17-20)
"His one and only purpose is to disciple men and women to Jesus."
challenge to the missionary: Do we believe that Christ is able to do this? (Mt 9:28)

So what I'm thinking here is, is God trying to tell me something? i.e., is He calling me to be a missionary, get involved in ministry somehow for the rest of my life? Yeah, teaching middle schoolers (and doing it well) is a form of ministry/missions, and we are all called to reach out to those in our own communities, but could God be calling me to something bigger?

I don't want to overthink or underthink this, nor do I want to say something decisive too soon and face the possibility of going back on it.

little later....
I was working on my math homework, and the song Alive by Rebecca St James started playing on my iTunes. This line caught my attention: "It's only when I let go of what I want in this life." Could God maybe actually want me to do YIM next summer? I don't know. What I do know, is I need to take Adolescent Development next summer otherwise I don't graduate on time. Unless they'll let me walk the stage (is that the phrase) and take the course later. Cuz graduating with my class is pretty important to me. This just opens a whole new can of worms...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

waltzing....matilda?

Tonight was a fun night at the Homecoming Banquet. This is the first time during my college career that they've had a banquet type thing--well, last year they had something in the caf, but it was included with dinnertime. This time they had a dressy thing in the gym, "A night in Paris" (think Eiffel Towers and random lamp posts and lights all around). I wasn't too fond of the idea of going, and dressing up (mostly cuz I'm a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl whenever possible), but I borrowed a dress from Jen and ended up going.

It was a lot of fun to see people dressed up. I was a wallflower for the most part--and this night was the closest I've ever been to a school dance (I never went to high school Homecoming dances or prom). After a while, I lost track of my roommates (you would think that might be impossible), so I hung out with Lucas KP (one of my quizzers) and Jen. Lucas was looking quite dapper, dressed up, and with his shirt tucked in! Can it be? :)

After the coronation (which does seem somewhat overdone--let's show life picture slideshows and then put capes and crowns on two individuals, and let that be that), while people were leaving, Jen was trying to get rid of all the leftover food (she had worked for the catering). We kept telling people to take as much as they wanted--people left with napkinfuls and boxfuls of cookies and pocketfuls of carrots--just to have it gone. It was quite fun. (I, however, managed to walk out with NOTHING--somehow that slipped by Jen)

After a while, there were just a few of us non-SGA folk still around, and Jen started teaching us how to waltz. I won't remember tomorrow how to do it. First she showed us altogether, and then we all paired off. So yup, I danced with Justin and then Paul, and it was fun--I'm not 100% coordinated, but maybe with practice?

Yeah, Nazarenes don't dance. But this Nazarene did tonight. Haha.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

many options

So I have many options on where to go upon graduation. Here are just a few:

~teach in MD. ordinary/everyday option.
~teach in MD then go elsewhere
~Boston Teacher Residency (www.bpe.org/btr)
~teach in an international school in Bulgaria
~teach anywhere.
~WHO KNOWS!?!

whatever, God.

You know, I must say I needed that reminder tonight....

Every week, on Wednesday nights, I try to go to Wolly's youth group, where a number of my quizzers are. It lets me see them again, and see how they interact with the others in the group, and see what they are being taught.

Tonight, I debated about going. You know, homework, studying for an exam, and just plain relaxing in my room for an hour and a half. Not to mention, I feel like I just sit there and don't make any major contributions to the group. With that in mind, why go? Will it make a difference to those teens if I go? Wouldn't I have the same effect on them if I just stayed in my room?

I chose to go. When I got there, they were playing Birds on a Perch, so I sat next to Michelle and watched the game (quite entertaining sometimes). We then watched Rich, a Nooma video, and discussed our wealth and blessedness, and how we are saved to bless others. It's not just about us holding onto our wealth (we truly are rich compared to the rest of the world. remember the YIM training camp poverty meal), but about us using what we have to bless others.

Ally shared a story about a missions trip she took to Orlando. The first day she was there, she tore her ACL (?) and could not participate in any of the projects. She was rather disgruntled that she had come all that way to make a difference, but had to lay in bed all day. (She did try to help out, but that just made the problem worse.) When she returned home, she got an email from one of the maintenence guys at the elementary school where her team helped. He told her she had been an "angel" and had just encouraged him (and probably a number of others) through her words, because that's what she had to offer.

It reminded me of this summer. We handed out flyers, we invited people to church, we invited kids to play basketball, we hung out with kids at the parks. Did we always see results right away? Not always, but sometimes, yes. Did we get frustrated, and not feel like doing whatever it was again? Yes.

But did God still use us? Yes. He encouraged the pastors. He gave us great friends in Mexico and El Paso. He brought kids in contact with the churches. He used us to encourage the congregations in music (whether we were singing Battle Hymn of the Republic or Tu Eres Mi Respirar), in our service (painting a Sunday School room), or in just hanging out with our friends in the youth group who will be the future leaders.

I may not teach in Wolly's youth group. I may not lead games. I may not be remembered by half the kids. But for the kids that I have met (Corrine, Wes, Abi, and my quizzers)--well, I just hope that God will use me however He wants, and I will remain available in whatever way. Whether that means I actually connect with the teens this year in a substantial way, or whether I teach the college age Sunday School class, or whether I can chaperone for a one day kids' missions event--whatever it is God has for me, I want to do, and not to have things my own way. "But, God! I really wanted to do this kids' missions event! And I have to travel HOME!?! WHY!?! This is a one-time thing.......I'm glad I went home."

I made a list, wrote down from A to Z
All the ways I thought that You could best use me
Told all my strengths and my abilities
I formed a plan it seemed to make good sense
I laid it out for You so sure You'd be convinced
I made my case, presented my defense
But then I read the letter that You sent me
It said that all You really want from me is just

Whatever, whatever You say
Whatever, I will obey
Whatever, Lord, have Your way
'Cause You are my God, whatever

So strike a match, set fire to the list
Of all my good intentions, all my preconceived ideas
I want to do Your will no matter what it is
Give me faith to follow where You lead me
Oh, Lord, give me the courage and the strength to do

(chorus)

I am not my own
I am Yours and Yours alone
You have bought me with Your blood
Lord, to You and You alone do I belong
And so whatever

(Steven Curtis Chapman, "Whatever")

Saturday, September 22, 2007

the future

Okay, so here's what I've been thinking lately. Anything I say here is still up in the air, because God might change me/my mind, and I've got one more year anyway.

I don't know that I'll stay in Massachusetts after I graduate. Real estate is high--that's one reason. But I think after 4 years, I'll have had my fill of the state. If I leave, I will definitely miss the people that have made this "home". My SACK family, my quizzing family (those that excitedly greet me after a summer apart, those that have helped me step up into leadership roles, those that have just laughed with-or at-me, those that have taught me by example, those that have made me step out of my comfort zone), my ENC family (professors that have helped me when I had questions, friends that I could talk to, my CAS workplace, various other members in the ENC community), and those that I have babysat for.

I don't know that I'll go back to Maryland. The Eastern Shore can be uninteresting at times. Plus I don't want to be there for the rest of my life. Yes, I have my family there, and I love them to death. Especially my brother, but come 2009, he'll be gone too. I would like to step into some leadership roles at my church, but I feel like I'm still the overgrown kid sometimes. I've thought about leading the youth group, or helping coordinate a missions trip (they have not done one since I was 16), but that is a lot.

Lately I've been thinking about moving to El Paso and teaching in the school district there. Yeah, it's really far away, but it became my home this summer. I could see my "family" there (Marco's family, Esme's family, the various missionaries, my friends in Mexico like Gedeon, Fabiola, etc) and I could probably be an encouragement to them. Plus, I would LOVE the weather there, and the fact that Spanish is so prevalent.

I was kind of offered a job to teach for a year or two in an international school in Bulgaria, but I would like to be in the States while I iron out the "new teacher" wrinkles for at least a year. I think it would be pretty cool to teach overseas, and travel.

Whether that means being a missionary, I don't know. I think it would be cool to be a missionary, to have adventures (though, after this summer, I know that it is not thrilling all the time. tedious at times) If that's what God has for me, excellent! If not, excellent too. Wherever God wants me, wherever God can use me, I'm alright with. I am in general excited about missions. Next weekend I am chaperoning for a kids' missions jamboree in Weymouth. I love meeting missionaries, and even staying in contact with a number of them.

This is what I wrote on the "Wall of Hope" at YIM training camp, for what my dreams are.
"to be all that God has for me. to do all that God has for me. obedience. trusting and not relying on 'my' strengths. to follow God. love others. LOVE GOD. to put God first in everything and not get distracted. to see where You are working and recognize it. to do whatever God has for me."

Monday, August 20, 2007

"secret vows"

I transcribed the following from a Highway Video....it's a prayer by Animah Al-Attas, and I really liked it.

LEADER:
God
gracious, tender, merciful
delivering our eyes from tears
our feet from stumbling
loosing our bonds
protecting us with your strength
as you engage us
you do so bountifully
Us
simple
our own souls hiding from us
children of your servant girl
skin waiting for hope
hulled up behind doors
desperate for you to breathe on us
longing for you to re-spirit us
Forgive us
when we make vows to you in secret
and then work to forget them
while we impress the crowd

PEOPLE:
Let our yes be yes, our no be no

LEADER:
When we are disingenuine in our faith
loyal when it's convenient

PEOPLE:
We are sorry and we humbly repent

LEADER:
When we avoid slowing down

PEOPLE:
Hedge us in and still our souls

LEADER:
When we ignore your voice
inviting us to be foolish

PEOPLE:
Release our grip on the need to fit in
give us guts to follow you

LEADER:
Release also the grip of our eyes
fixed on the mirror
so in love with hating ourselves that we
cannot see beyond our foibles.
We choose to let you love us
turning from the glass
to face brothers and sisters in need

PEOPLE:
Hear our prayer.

LEADER:
We pray for those who would
rather take their own lives than
persist in the land of the living
crouch down and cup your ear to
their whispers

PEOPLE:
Hear our prayer

LEADER:
We pray for the third of our world ravaged
by war
how do we pray for a number like this?
blood
broken life
divorced conscience
darkened souls
dead hope
Holy spirit, in your wisdom

PEOPLE:
Teach us how to pray and move us to
respond

LEADER:
For those disillusioned with the rest of humanity
tired of loving the seemingly unolvable
teach us to lift the cup of salvation
to those we fail to understand
May we be generous with patience and love
in your patience

PEOPLE:
Hear our prayer

LEADER:
Jesus
standing outside of time
yet all the while invading it
in the psalms of David
in the cries of Isaiah
on the streets of Jerusalem
exploding history to tell us you love us
teaching us to love others
Us
trapped in analysis
we push thumbs into your bloody
hands
we stretch out our fists inside the
wounds of your side
we see you moving
and believe
Spirit come
dress our souls
bathe our hearts
lift our eyes
with your breath

Sunday, August 19, 2007

church notes (and then a tangent about church and YIM)

Things that are in []'s are what I thought about as I listened, and if you have any thoughts on what was said, feel free to post them.

*Note: Later I go into a tangent about YIM, and door-to-do0r evangelism.

8/19/07

doctrine: eschatology

what happens after death for Christian?

New Testament teaches soul goes to heaven right away

Luke 23:42-43

Philippians 1:21-24

2 Cor 5:6-8

Acts 7:59-60

new body:

1 Cor 15:35-44

1 Thess 4:13-17

We do not long for immortality.

Longing of hearts is resurrection--there's a difference.

[The way I see it, immortality means you just keep on living, uninterrupted. Resurrection is you get rid of your earthly body first--by dying--and then get a new one, and then continue living.]

Matthew 22:31-33--Abraham, Isaac, Jacob were living

Hades=realm of the dead (Greek, generic term)

"intermediate state" [not to be confused with purgatory]

gehenna=full realm of torment

[seems that gehenna is just a more specific part of Hades. And if your version of the Bible says hell, then that's not necessarily close to the original. I sure hope what I just said is correct.]

Jesus descended into Hades--but thief was also with him that day in paradise

[if Revelation is Jewish literature of the oppressed (like African American spirituals), and should not be taken literally, but rather symbolically in this genre, what about chapter 20 and onward? How should we interpret the passages about a new heaven and a new earth? Should those be interpreted within that genre as well, and not as they've been commonly interpreted?]

It won't say, "Joe Doe, Nazarene or Baptist." It'll say "Joe Doe, Christian, believer" [emphasizing cognitive action, rather than "Follower of Christ"? I don't know. but that IS Biblical, so I'll leave that alone.]

[my thoughts about hell are the following: I know that I am going to be with Jesus, so details are not really my concern. Why bother trying to figure out what hell will be like, since I don't plan on going there? I don't agree with scaring people into Jesus's arms, or having "fire insurance". But whatever/wherever it is, my thoughts are that it's a place of suffering apart from God's love, apart from God's plan, apart from the Kingdom of God. I don't know that I could explain those concepts, or what they would be like, exactly, because it would probably take a while.]

Where was Jesus between His death and resurrection? He was in paradise, in the abode of God.

1 Peter 3:18-20: Pastor focused on the mention of baptism in here.
[Water seems to, so I hear, represent chaos in Scripture. "And the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." Then God brought order of the chaos (doesn't matter if you believe evolution was the mechanism, or seven-day creation. It was God. Somehow). Noah and his family were delivered from the chaos of the waters/sin in the world that had caused chaos and disrupted God's movements by an ark that was above the waters. Jonah was swallowed by a large fish/whale/something that rescued him from the water, from drowning. But this water could also represent the chaos that his life was going to be if he kept running away from that which God had called him. Jesus walked on the water, and calmed the storm. He had dominion over water, over the chaos that is in our lives.]

Revelation is battle between Heaven and hell, and God wins.

[there is a theme of hope within it. even if you take it as literature of the oppressed.]

life in the intermediate state

it's in the spirit, may be given a body

2 Cor 5:1-4 ["not built by human hands"--probably not built with human materials, either]

Greek thought: Spirit
Hebrew thought: Body

Luke 9:28-32 (Transfiguration)
[how in the world did they recognize them without any record of their appearance?!?! guess it's a matter of recognizing their spirit, their essence (and I'm trying to say that without getting into any connotation of new-age stuff)]

[what does this stuff really mean for us right now?]

in prayer: "Thank you that we'll be going to heaven...." [something like that. But what does this mean for us reaching out to others, how do we put this into action? I refuse to accept simply that Christians go to heaven, everybody else goes to hell. What do we do, Rev. McDonald? What is our responsibility in the world, with this in mind? I am not asking because I don't know, I am asking because I want to hear from you.]

[One of my beefs with these sermons/studies is that I end up frustrated during the sermons. Here's what I wrote this morning:

"What does this mean for my life? How does it tell me to live in this world? How does it help me to love God and love others? This doesn't seem to beteaching Scripture. {and by that, I mean, he doesn't necessarily continue going back to Scripture thru his sermon. Today it was on "Who are the heroes and models in your life?", and he simply talked about those in his life. What the heck.} How does it teach me to grow closer to Christ?"

I refuse to leave the church on the basis of these sermons that I don't like (don't get me wrong, they are put together well and are interesting to listen to. The trouble is what I just wrote a few sentences ago, that is how I feel a lot. I probably should talk to him). I am committed to this church, I am a member, and I want to do as much as I can while I'm home to help out and encourage. This is reminding me of this summer. Cuz right now, I want to get in some sort of leadership position, so I can *really* change something, and have authority. But see, the thing is, I am home for maybe 10-15 weekends out of the year {in 2007, I'll have been in MD 11 Sundays}, and cannot establish myself for such a short time. And I think that I am not doing much. But I guess my going on a YIM trip can be encouraging to people.]

Some more of a tangent....

I can also speak out more, and get involved where possible, and encourage others to reach out. We talked about evangelism in Sunday School, and how one person we know is very bold in handing out copies of the Bible. Being bold enough to be willing to hand out Scripture like that, especially in our culture, is a big thing. But my style is definitely to be more personal, build a relationship.

If I go back to Juarez, and am asked to do door to door evangelism, I will maybe say something along the following lines, "I do not speak much Spanish, but I will try and talk to others. I will try, and do it as if I am doing it for Jesus." I probably won't be able to understand what the people are saying to me--but before heading out, I could pray for understanding, and when I meet the people, to ask them to speak slowly and clearly for me. And you know, God just might answer that request. I'm willing to give it a try. I want to ask them their names, and how many kids they have, and what they do for work, and THAT'S building a relationship. Easy questions. AND I can share about myself (ok, but not in a vain way. you know.)!

I'm ready to have another try. I'll try it.

I'm not sure if I was just writing that about door to door evangelism en espanol, or if I was writing it about doing YIM again. Cuz I am considering it for next summer. I know that if I return to El Paso, I will have both familiar and new faces. The sad/cool thing is that I will see familiar places, and laugh at memories, and remember fondly my times there.

If God wants me to do YIM again, I'll do it. I'm open to whatever He's got for me.

I need to write to Gedeon. He gave us his address, and I don't want to leave him hanging.

I'm really glad I got one of these reflection things out. I've been thinking I needed to write something out, and tada! here it is. I think that's all for now. Kbye.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

one last YIM post

Hello all,

Today is our last full day in El Paso. We are going to a local water park (which is actually on the border with New Mexico) with some of the youth from First church, some of the Tooley and Carney families, our friend Fabiola and her family from Juarez, and our friend Luis from Juarez.

VBS at Trinity Church went well. We had maybe 10 kids altogether, and I usually had 4 in my 7 and up age group. The first night I only had Allison and Krystal, and Krystal didn't want to do the motions for the songs. I tried to get her to do them, but she refused, so I relented as long as she sang. The next night, she was doing the motions. :D

Wednesday we volunteered at the Rescue Mission again, and it was nice to see familiar faces again, and to say hi to people that we remembered.

Thursday during the day we went to the Juarez Market with the Tooley family to buy souvenirs. As we drove around and I looked out the window, I tried to take it all in again. I'll definitely miss being there (I already do), even though being there was tough at times.

Friday morning we went to the little El Paso Zoo with the Tooleys and Sanchez family. That evening was our last night of VBS at Trinity, and boy were those kids wired.

On Saturday we spent some time with Pastor Charlie and his daughter Lanee, and Stephanie from Trinity Church. In the afternoon we went to Norlyn and Bobbie Brough's house. Norlyn and Bobbie had actually been missionaries in Nicaragua and Mexico too I think.

In the evening we went to the church softball games. Rachel and Angela played on the women's team, and scored two runs altogether. It was fun to watch the games and talk to our friends, since we hadn't been to any of their softball games. Betty told Rachel and Angela that we weren't leaving, that we had to stay and play softball (the
team isn't the greatest but they have fun). Afterwards, we went out to IHOP with Sara, Daniela, Esmeralda, and 3 of Esme's friends from school.

Sunday we attended service at Trinity Church. It had maybe 20 people there, including ourselves. There was a family of 3 there, and the daughter had been at VBS. I hear that her parents had been looking for someplace to go to church, and if that's the case, that's really cool that they came on Sunday. In the evening, we had the VBS closing, including the kids singing the songs, a brinca-brinca (moon bounce), facepainting, balloon animal-making, and food. When Barb (Charlie's wife) presented all the leaders with thank-you gifts, she said that we had really been a blessing and encouragement to them.

That evening the Tooley family presented our team with gifts, including sombreros for each of us. We have no choice but to wear them during our flights to Kansas City and home, because there's no way we can pack them. :D

Monday we went with Pastor Fred to the New Mexico district campground, Bonita Park. It is located near Ruidoso, NM, about 2 hours north of El Paso. It was awesome up there...we hiked, went swimming, and walked around the campground a bit. It was a lot different climate-wise from El Paso; I'd say it was 80 something degrees out,
and there were lots of pine trees, and we were in the mountains more. Pastor Fred took us to Bonito Lake, just around the corner, so we walked around there, took pictures, skipped rocks, and climbed on some of the rocks.

Tuesday Norlyn and Bobbie Brough took us to White Sands, NM, and the sand dunes that are there. We had a great time with them, sledding down the dunes and sometimes attempting to surf down them. At times it reminded me of the time I went sledding in Maine. :)

I will definitely miss being here, as these people and this place have become my home for the past two months. We have felt very welcome, and have felt the "Mi casa es su casa" hospitality.

Thank you again for your prayers and support. This trip was great, and slowly but surely I will process all that it has meant for me. :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

VBS frenzy!

Hi all,

***this part typed July 15***
We have just finished a week of Tumbleweed Gulch Vacation Bible School at El Paso First, and this coming week we'll be doing the same theme at Trinity Church on the westside.

I worked as a "crew leader" for posse #3, grades 3-5, and led them to each of the stations every night. This was one of the larger groups, as we usually had upwards of 11 kids each night. I had two helpers from the church with me to help with crowd control. :) I remembered the first night how fun that age group is, since I had worked with that group at kids' camp for two summers. It reminded me of why I
became an Education major. :) Rachel led crafts, Angela led games, and Brandi worked with the 1st/2nd graders.

Thursday night was the toughest I think, because we had changed around the routine to allow more time for practicing the songs. This of course confused the kids (as well as the leaders!), and it was just one hectic night. However, more of my kids were actually doing the motions to the songs that night--I wasn't continually asking someone to do the motions or not mess around.

On Friday we had a special time to present to the families, where the kids sang their songs, said their verses, and had their crafts displayed. We also had food for them and facepainting and balloon animals.

We had a total of 58 kids last week (not all at the same time), and 35 helpers, Melissa said. This is a switch from when we had started with only 6 helpers, and that was just before Monday.

Saturday we went to Trinity Church and helped decorate for their VBS, which is this week. I think we'll probably have the same roles there as we did at First Church. This afternoon we decorated some more. There are some awesome "barn doors" (to the sanctuary), fake barbed wire along the walls, and a corral around the stage.

***typed July 17***
Last night was the first night of Trinity's VBS, and there were only 7 or 8 kids there, all of them already involved in the church. I had two girls in my group, Allison and Krystal, both age 7 and they were the oldest ones there. The leaders at the church were very enthusiastic, getting the kids to "yee-haw" at various times.

We will continue with this VBS the rest of the week, and hopefully more kids will come.

It is sad to think that we have only 9 more days here, but I want to make the most of our time, especially with VBS, the families/teens we've met, working at the Rescue Mission, etc.

Prayer Requests
~health/safety
~VBS at Trinity Church: that kids that are not already "churched" will come, that we will have the right time/right place/right person and right words to lead people to Christ, that we will reflect God's love
~Joel Tooley's mom Dee is in the hospital in Mississippi, and she could very much use prayer

That's about all I can think of for right now. Thanks again for all your support and prayers, and I will see you in August/September!

Monday, July 09, 2007

update #3 YIM I think

Saludos a todos!
(Greetings to all!)

Today is my first week back in El Paso after a week in Juarez. It has been a while since I've updated you all, so I'm not sure what I have and have not said.

I think when I last wrote, we were in Juarez for two weeks. The second week we were there, we had gotten to know more of the youth from Cuarta Iglesia (4th church), including Fabiola and many others. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we helped with VBS at the Peniel mission where we had gone door to door. The funny thing is that our team became translators for the Work and Witness team from Denver. It was great to see the kids from the community again, for three days, and continue those relationships with the kids we had seen before.

The following week we returned to El Paso to help with the basketball camp. These were the original dates, except that they weren't the correct dates. We still had about 20 kids show up, which was great. We helped with the younger kids, teaching basic skills of dribbling, passing, and shooting. And if you know me, you know I'm not usually athletic. Mike (our site coordinator) had me lead a couple days, and a few times we just had the kids do whatever they wanted when they got tired of basketball (whether it was coloring, frisbee, or Uno). Pastors Fred and Marco also did devotions at the end of the morning. One night, I realized that I needed to be more extroverted to get to know these kids, and to ask them their names. I knew that I couldn't do that on my own, or with whatever energy I had, and so I definitely
relied on God for that. With the basketball camp, it was about encouraging the kids in their efforts and simply being their friend. That will probably go for Vacation Bible School these next two weeks as well.

Last Saturday we decorated the El Paso First Church for the Tumbleweed Gulch (think old western theme) VBS. We made a splendid fence out of brown poster paper and markers. We had a few people from the church with us, including 13 year old Amanda. It was awesome having her there, because Mike says it's tough to get her to come to things other than Sunday mornings. She and I made a pretty amazing cactus out of
this brown tubing and paint and tissue paper.

Our team also did some canvassing around the neighborhood, including some follow-up with families that had come to the previous basketball camp. Yet again, we're just connecting with people in the community.

We did attempt a movie night, and invited some people from the community to come see Facing the Giants. We really didn't put out much effort, and planned it at the last minute, so maybe it's not surprising that we and Marco's family were the only ones watching it.

Last week we were in Juarez again at Tercera Iglesia (3rd church), with Gedeon and his family. The first night we were there, they wanted us to go into the community and do evangelism door to door. We ended up just handing out these tracts to people, including some kids at a playground. That night we went with Fernando, who is Nayeli's dad, and on Thursday night we went with Jonatan, one of the youth who is in seminary. We were frustrated because all we could really do was recite our spiel. However, it was awesome to hear that on Saturday night and Sunday morning that about 3 girls came to the services because of our going into the community. I know many of you hear of missions trips where hundreds/thousands come to faith in Jesus because
of the JESUS FILM! but we are content to simply see small steps like this for the churches here. Now it's up to the congregations to continue reaching out to the communities.

When we were with the youth back in Juarez, we actually went to an alberca (pool/park) with them as they had an "esgrima" competition. The awesome thing is that we saw two rounds of Bible quizzing, and I was able to help keep score (despite the language barrier).

Many of you heard me say before the trip that I was looking forward to using my Spanish. But having spent three weeks in Juarez, I recognize Spanish as simply being a tool in communicating wtih people. If you are curious as to how we are doing with Spanish, I know that words are coming back to me from the book learning I had in high school. Being able to learn words in context, whether it is by pointing to something and asking, or continual reference to something, or by looking at things in S-Mart, is helpful as well.

These next two weeks we will be helping with two VBS's at the two churches in El Paso. After that we have a few days before we head back to Kansas City. It is strange to think that our time here is almost at an end, as some days seem slow. But once you plan out the weeks, it seems a lot shorter.

I almost forgot! We have had quite the health adventures here. If you have been praying for our health, thank you because we have not died. For about a week, one of our teammates had a rash on her face. When she went to the dermatologist, she found out that she was allergic to mango skin, as it is very similar to poison ivy. Who
would have thought she would have mangoface? Another teammate had, as she calls it, dysentery (which it was not at all) and became moderately dehydrated. She stayed in El Paso for a few days recuperating while we were in Juarez. It was good to have her back after a few days!

Prayer Requests
~VBS: for the leaders (including ourselves), the kids that come, the parents, and the church here to connect with the community
~Health/safety
~the Nazarene Border Initiative leaders Joel and Barry, and the work they want to do here
~Our site coordinator Mike S

Thanks again for your support and prayers,
Jessica

Friday, June 22, 2007

hola de Juarez

Hello all,

We are finishing up our second week in Juarez, Mexico, and will be returning soon to El Paso. Now to most of you, this schedule looks the same as what it was last week. However, our plans have changed so many times that it would not be worth it to describe all the changes. For instance, at one point we were going to go to Las Palomas, and help there. Rest assured though, we are learning to be flexible and not to have any expectations. It reminds me of when I was in Belize and Wassim kept asking Doc about what our destination would be like--finally Doc responded, "WASSIM! You'll find out when we get there!" :)

The first few days here were rough, as we were trying to settle into some sort of routine. We had no translator, knew nobody outside Pastor Richard's family, and we were the only English speakers. However, the families here have helped us to feel at home, preparing us meals, taking us where we needed to go, and introducing us to others. Benjamin was one of the first people we met, and he and Suri came with us to the mission these two weeks.

We helped at a mission just outside of the city, called Peniel. We invited families to church and to VBS, as well as a game day we had with the neighborhood kids. We played games, shared a Bible story, colored pictures, and did face painting. This was a great time to build relationships with some of the kids, because we later saw them at VBS. The day before VBS started, we worked to clear gravel and sand out of one of the rooms and moved it to make a sort of stage in the mission.

Benjamin became one of our good friends, and it was sad to see him leave earlier this week. He was our Spanish-to-Spanish translator, looking out for us, and he helped us meet more of the youth from the church. These people have become our friends, and we have talked with them and done lots of fun activities.

We are a forerunning group for the Nazarene Border Initiative, and its goal is to allow the Mexican church's leaders to decide what to do in their communities. Rather than the American teams coming in with a plan, the Mexican church can place us wherever they wish, and not be told what to do in their community.

We helped a group from Denver First Church in doing VBS at Peniel this week. One woman from the group, Angela, told us that on Tuesday she was worried that there would be no translator available at Peniel, and in the midst of her stress, she finally remembered to pray and trust God to provide. God used us to meet that need! There were many children at VBS, upwards of 30 I'm sure.

As well as we know now, tonight we will be working with the youth of this church to go door to door in the neighborhood, and invite people to church. We will be spending the night at Fabiola's before going to a sort of water park with them as well.

Next week there was supposed to be a basketball camp in El Paso, but at the last minute, Barry and Mikey found out that it was this week. They had 35 kids on the first day of the camp! We will be heading back to help out with however many kids show up for the original time, which will be interesting as we don't have many skills in basketball. :)

There are so many stories I want to share, but I don't have the time or space to share now. I'm sure you will be hearing many stories once I return. :)

Prayer Requests:
~this week's basketball camp, and the children and families that will come
~the Vacation Bible Schools that we will be helping with in July, I think
~Health, safety, energy each day
~Communication

Some advice of what NOT to do when there is a language barrier:
~Don't try to get money from an ATM. You may get 20 pesos ($2) instead of $20.
~Don't try to tell jokes or stories. They're not as funny.
~Don't pretend like you know more of the language than you do. It may be assumed that you are fluent.
~Don't say you like something, because it may be assumed that you cannot live without it.
~Don't assume that all words are similar between languages. For instance, "embarazada" does not mean embarrassed. It means "pregnant."
~Don't smile and nod every time you are asked something.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

here I am, in El Paso

Hi everyone,

This email is going to be rather long, but chock-full of info. Here goes. It may be abbreviated for the sake of time and space. I'll elaborate later.

Training Camp:
~Very intense and they kept us busy doing team building activities, attending workshops, sitting in and participating in various chapels/discussions, being part of a family group (my team plus 2 Guatemala teams), Poverty meal.
~Our team gets along very well and we have a lot of fun in addition to doing our ministry.

Sunday the 3rd:
~Arrived in El Paso after a delayed flight (we ended up just jumping onto another one in the nick of time)
~driving around, getting to know the area
~eating lunch with Marco the Spanish pastor
~ate dinner at a Sonic, which are NOT back east. :)
~Mikey had a "surprise" for us, which was to take us to an overlook once it was dark. It was really awesome to look out over the city, with all the lights, and think that there was at least one person for every light out there. Also, to think about our upcoming ministry and what we would be doing (which we still didn't really know too much at that point).

Monday the 4th:
~We went to a park and played games (kicked around a soccer ball) with some kids, Alex and Annabelle.
~Inventoried the kitchen, so when the Oklahoma W&W group comes, they will know what they need to bring.
~We've been doing a lot of brainstorming about how to get the church's name out there, and to meet people where they are and to begin building relationships with them. It's tough work, slow going, really. I felt like I didn't have any real ideas because I don't know this community, and by the time I get to know it, we'll leave. We also have been trying to publicize a free basketball camp at the end of this month, as well as VBS, by going door-to-door, which is very in-your-face and I'm definitely not fond of that method. But it's what the church is using, as well as talking to families in the park.
~PS: Mom, there is really not a dormitory on the premises of El Paso First Church. We have one room, Mikey has his room, there is an office, and the rest of the top floor is completely empty. HOWEVER, a Work and Witness team will be working on that, for use with the Border Initiative.

Tuesday the 5th:
~Went over into Juarez to meet with Eliseo the DS of that area, and plan what we will be doing next week and the week after. Basically, we're trying to get the Nazarene Border Initiative going again (for more info, you can check out nazarene.org or ask me later).
~This week and the week after, we will be working at a mission near Juarez, as well as doing community outreach at one or more of the 9 Nazarene churches in Juarez. We also will help with a VBS, and we are not a work and witness team (that's not our focus this summer).
~Mike Direnzo pointed out that there is such a contrast between El Paso and Juarez, and I didn't really think about it till a few days later, and it's true. Juarez is definitely poorer. I haven't yet been hit with culture shock, but that will probably come next week or the week after.
~The language in this area is Spanglish, as evidenced by 4 year old Fabiola, Marco's daughter: "Mas higher!" In El Paso, it's mostly English, but in Juarez it will really be mostly Spanish!
~I have been learning to trust and rely on God, because in this new environment, I don't really know all that I'm doing, I don't know the community, and certainly can't get through the days without asking God to work in the life of this city and to show us opportunities to take part in the movement of God (theosis?) here.
~Mikey took us on a hike up to Elephant Peak, in the Franklin Mtns State Park, and it was a lot of fun. The weather here is very dry, except for the VERY RARE rain, so the hike wasn't bad at all (unlike being back east). We could see pretty much all of El Paso and Juarez, and it was a spectacular view. We probably could even see New Mexico, for that matter.

Wednesday the 6th:
~discussed with Pastor Fred (who is actually from Lowell) his ideas for the church and this summer
~Went to another park to see if any kids were there, but they weren't, so we went to the library and got some books and a yoga video (hey, the key to missions is flexibility, says Joel T)
~It's tough being here and trying to help the church grow when we don't have any existing connections beyond the church in the community.
~However, we had an opportunity to help this 91 yr old woman, Isidra, who had come from Juarez trying to buy a motor scooter. She was walking down the sidewalk with her walker in the heat of the day. We ended up having Jaime, a neighbor, help drive her back since the woman that was at the address Isidra had knew nothing about the scooter.
~Attended the youth group and played some games with them like the Neighbor Game (which I had done with Impact), and volleyball for a while. I have been more athletic this past week than I have for maybe the past 2 years. :)

(Side thought: Sorry if this is unclear grammatically at times; I am just trying to get everything out)

Thursday the 7th:
~some more brainstorming and visiting parks
~Barry and Mikey had us wash a bunch of dishes to prepare for the Oklahoma group, and we really were not seeing the point, or if we were even making a dent in the number that needed to be done. We got to use a machine, and it was a good team bonding time as we laughed, trying to see the point. Now there are a number of clean dishes downstairs, and we know how to use the dishwasher. :)
~went around the neighborhood, door-to-door, to tell them about upcoming activities at the church. I feel like a telemarketer when I do that, but most people cheerfully accepted the flyer. As Mikey put it, whether they read it or not is a simple decision, and we aren't asking them to make a great big decision suddenly.
~Mikey compared El Paso to DC in this manner. El Paso is not Mexico, it's not really Texas, it's not New Mexico, and it's not really the US. It's its own place.

Friday the 8th:
~We got to serve breakfast and dinner at the El Paso Rescue Mission, a place that helps the homeless get back on their feet. I was able to talk to 3 people, just asking them their stories, and telling them a bit about myself, and just otherwise brightening their day as I served drinks and cereal. In the morning, as I was placing sugar on the trays for their cereal, I kept thinking of how I should look into "the face of the other," and not be caught up in my service that I forget the people right in front of me. Kind of like Mary and Martha in the Bible.
~We did Jazzercise with 4 women from the community....told you I was being athletic! :)
~Ate lunch with Marco the Spanish pastor and his family....yumm....we had milanesa and beans and rice and something else.
~Went to the t-ball park during a game and handed out flyers about the church's childrens' activities, and this group seemed very receptive, especially for a free sports activity.

Saturday the 9th:
~Just two days prior, we had brainstormed to have a fun and games day at the park for kids, with facepainting, balloon animal making (okay, just a sword, dog, or sombrero), and games and such. We ended up having about 15 kids show up that morning. I was excited to see this little girl that had been at the t-ball park the night before, because she had waved at me as I walked by her again. When she saw me on Saturday, she said, "I know you!" So cute. :)
~ate dinner at Barry and his wife Charlie's house....they are the USA/Canada Work and Witness coordinators....watched a movie....then returned to the electricity-free church (power outage)

Sunday (today)
~attended both Spanish and English services
~went to Fabiola's birthday party, and helped out with games and playing with the kids

What a week. I will definitely be sharing more later, in August.

This week and next I will be in Juarez.
The end of this month I will be here in El Paso, working with a basketball camp (I think), then we will go back to Juarez. For two weeks in July we will be doing VBS in El Paso....including the week of my birthday :). Then we will have a few days before returning to Kansas City!

Prayer requests:
~communication while we are in Juarez
~for God to work in the life of these cities and to enable us to step out of our comfort zones when we need to
~safety, health

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Youth in Mission, here I come!

To all:

This is the first of multiple emails I will be sending this summer to update you on my Youth in Mission trip. As most of you are aware, I will be heading to El Paso, Texas and Juarez, Mexico for almost two months for a missions trip (If you don't know where that is, it's in the western part of Texas that kind of pokes into New Mexico).

Here are the basics, as I knew in January, of what I'm doing. I heard that things can change at any time, so you'll hear later if this is not what I'm actually doing:
~Partner with a Latin American YIM team
~Facilitate evangelism training and outreach
~Involvement with compassionate ministries (I wonder if I will see any banana boxes, School Pal-Paks, or Crisis Care Kits!)
~Participate in Work and Witness projects
~Assisting in leadership training for Nazarene leaders in Mexico
~Train, coordinate, and lead a short-term missions trip for Latin American youth (Maximum Mission) in Mexico

After a flurry of emails between our team and our site coordinators, I can also share this with you:
"We want this time for you to be different than what you're used to - we want you to be stetched - spiritually, socially, emotionally - etc. You will gain new things this summer. You will sacrifice things this summer. We want to come into this totally open to something new from God.
You will be asked to share your testimony (your journey with God); you will be asked to lead church services; you will be asked to integrate with the Hispanic community; you will be asked to LEAD teenagers in a deeper spiritual journey with God; you will be asked to do things you're good at and to do things you've never done before. You will asked to do things that are very mundane. You will be asked to do things that don't have a lot of direction/explanation. You will be asked to experience your journey with God in a whole new way."

I fly out Tuesday to Kansas City for my week of training camp with all the other YIM students. We will then disperse on the 3rd for our various sites around the world! I will be keeping a journal (those of you from my Belize/Guatemala trip know how I journal!) and taking plenty of photographs, so that you can get a glimpse of my experience.

Great news: All of my trip funds have been raised, and I will even be reimbursed for my airfare to and from Kansas City! It was awesome to see God provide all my funds, even if it all happened at the last minute!

Prayer requests:
~safety in general, as well as during travel
~keeping us healthy
~for God to enable our team to reflect Him to the people there by the border
~working in the hearts of those at our site

I'm wicked excited to see what God holds this summer for me, and will keep you all posted throughout the summer (possibly with pictures too)! I will have internet access every so often, so emails/messages will be muchly appreciated. :)

Thank you to all have supported me and my trip over the past few months, whether it was through financial contributions, sharing ideas, or by simply praying for me. I appreciate your generosity and prayers, and can't wait to see what happens this summer!

"So right here and now I am all in
'Cause I'm letting go of everything I am
And I'm holding on to everything You are
I'm letting go of everything I once was
I'm all in
I'm fallin' into Your arms again" (by TobyMac)

Friday, May 18, 2007

current glimpses

*~*
from Down by the River: "Marketing people learn that Mexicans believe the truth must be something bad, something constantly claimed by their government and therefore something very suspect." What does this mean in terms of ministry to them and sharing verses from the Bible, especially John 14:6 (Jesus is the way, truth, and life)?
*~*

*~*
I have this sense of sacredness in certain places, that where I am is holy ground, and to do anything but move and speak softly (or in some cases, to even enter) violates such sacredness. To name a few places, the New England Holocaust Memorial, some bedrooms, and old or empty churches. I felt like it was only proper to simply walk through the Holocaust Memorial silently, reading the information, and thinking about it. If I am ever in some family's house, and walk slightly into the parents' bedroom, I feel like I'm intruding. "Marriage should be honored by all." It's as though that's their space, and that's where the mystery of marriage is. Something like that. I visited the Trinity Church this past weekend (that's the one at Copley Square, right?), but only was in the foyer and downstairs in the bookstore. I couldn't help but want to tread softly, and speak softly if at all.
*~*

*~*
How can we alleviate the suffering of illegal immigrants? What are churches down there doing to help? What is the general church attitude? I'm pretty sure that "the least of these" includes those that the government refuses to help before they boot them out of the country.
*~*

*~*
Humanity is falling to pieces. We break each other and tear each other down. This brokenness is sin. Christ is the "glue" that will put us back together. Holiness, wholeness, comes when we allow Christ to put the broken pieces of our lives back together, when we can can help others put their broken lives back together. Whether it's relational or financial or personal, we're all broken in some way. We cannot be useful until we are whole again at the most basic levels (thank you Maslow).
*~*

*~*
As I've been learning about different situations, I cannot help but wonder, "What does this mean in terms of ministry? What can be done to fix this?"
*~*

What are your thoughts?

Friday, May 04, 2007

Being a college student is fun. Most of the time.

I am 99% finished my 10 lesson plans for Ed Psych. All I have to do "tomorrow" is tweak one a bit, do some formatting, and then print it to hand in. After that, I'm done most of my work!

At about 1 am, I decided that I needed to get the oxygen moving in my body again, so I ran around the front lawn twice. Where else can you do crazy things like that except at college?

Next week before I take my finals, I have to do some Arts and Music papers, study for Linear, and study for Christian Tradition. Then I'm DONE!!!!

I can't wait for the end of the semester to really be here, because it means I will be moving out of the dorm and into the KP's house for the rest of the month. I won't have any homework to do, but will be able to read FUN books again! I'll put that reading list up shortly.

On May 29th, I will be heading to Kansas City for my YOUTH IN MISSION trip to Mexico!!!!!!!!! I honestly haven't had time to be excited, or at least I haven't allowed myself time, due to school stresses. Not to mention, I've been trying to practice my Spanish, work on figuring out how to raise the money for the trip (but that's all done now! Yay God! Thank you for providing for me!), and a whole host of other things. Maybe the rest of this month will be a nice time of relaxing and preparing!

Last weekend was quizzing Regionals, and the short summary of the weekend is this: crazy, intense, stressful, fun, and we stayed in a sketchy hotel. But that's another story for another blog.

It's almost 2 am. I need to go to bed! I'm a little loopy right now, in case you can't tell. At least I can sleep in tomorrow till who knows when.

(yes I know I just typed this blog after writing about 7 pages of a paper, but I really just needed to do SOMETHING before I went to bed. it's a really pointless entry, I'll admit.)

Friday, March 30, 2007

unity!

Remember "one in heart and mind"?

Let's live it.

(from my favorite Christmas song)
O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

I don't quite get how two people in ministry type positions can have such a falling-out that neither really cares for the other anymore. It doesn't seem to be right, to be a role model but not be striving for unity within the leadership group. It doesn't seem fair that if one of those we are leading is struggling with the same kind of friendship issue but wants things to turn out well, they would have to see a broken role model. Yet humans are broken and fallen people. I know that is what causes that, but it just doesn't seem right.

I am very much like Jane Bennet in Pride & Prejudice, who wants to believe only good of those she knows. (Elizabeth speaking to Jane) "Oh! you are a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general. You never see a fault in anybody. All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes. I never heard you speak ill of a human being in your life."
I see the good in others for the most part, ignoring their negative qualities, and still treating them as a decent person. It's not till someone points out the negative qualities and what they mean that I notice flaws in others. At this point, I still treat the person the same, but possibly with a bit of skepticism/curiousity in my thoughts.

Monday, March 26, 2007

festival of life weekend!

This weekend was pretty much amazing, since it was Festival of Life and lots of people from my home district came to visit and do competition stuff.

I saw Erlene from Maine, but couldn't remember how I knew her at first. haha oh dear. That's what happens when all these people I know from different places invade campus at the same time.

I got to see Brian Hull, who's one of the major head people (how do you like that title?) of NYC '07. I talked to him some about YIM, and tried to put him in contact with Missa, who's going on the NYC team this summer. Plus I met Dave Curtiss, who was an excellent speaker. I liked the background into Judaism, and the way he talked about the kingdom of heaven reminded me of Brian McLaren's works. He talked about how Christ has saved us TO do something, not just FROM sin, and that we need to help mend a broken world.
"Jesus living isn't comfortable"
"Your good deeds are the very deeds that plant the trees of heaven."

Most of the high schoolers I didn't know, except for Kevin and Alex, and kind of a few others. So I felt like hanging out with the youth pastor types, especially since this year with quizzing I've basically been doing youth ministry. Someday I think it'd be cool to help coordinate stuff for something like FOL, behind the scenes.

Saturday I did a lot of hanging out with the Mosers since Melissa was coaching the (champion) math/sci quiz team....especially Maddox (age 3)
me: "Are you having fun, Maddox?"
him: (in a glum tone) "Yeah...."
I had him on my back during the worship service, and Melissa noticed that he was closing his eyes. Haha. Then when Dave C. got up to speak, and we were sitting down, Maddox wanted a piggyback ride again, but I told him no, not till after the service. He ended up going to his parents in the pew in front of us, with his lower lip in a pouty face. I guess I broke his heart or something. haha.

It was also super to have Leslie and Roger up too, since they're closer to my age. Leslie and I took the T into Boston on Saturday afternoon, and walked from Park Street to Quincy Market, and near the water a bit too. We bought sweatshirts that say "BOSTON" across the front, and wandered around a good bit, running into people from our district. We took random pictures too. :)

I got to talk to Pastor Kevin for a while, about what he thought about evolution vs. creation, and what he'd tell his kids, and some ENC/Olivet stuff. Mostly he was saying that we don't know what went on at the time of creation, and that God's still creating. He also likes Brian McLaren's synthesis of the Bible in The Story We Find Ourselves In. We talked about how my church is gung ho about missions abroad, but yet we don't do stuff in Chestertown. We shouldn't be thinking that the world is out to get us or whatever. It was really cool to hear that his kids learn about God from him and Joy, and that they have spiritual conversations about stuff. Like their 6 year old asking, "If God loves me so much, why do I have these allergies?" Also something that is cool is that he'll be the guest speaker at Regionals Quizzing! Hooray!

We got back from Boston just in time for me to run to the front of Wolly and help hand out medals. That was fun, and at one point, Brian Hancock just accumulated the extra medals around his neck, so I asked him, "Why do you have those?" Kevin answered, "What, you think he doesn't deserve them?" He gave them back later. :)

Saturday night after the service, I said goodbye to people, and then stood there a while with Jen S, Josh B, and Leslie. We figured out that I was the only one in the bunch not certified in First Aid/CPR, and Leslie was divvying up who would do which part of CPR to save me: "You do this, you do that, and I'll--I'm not doing mouth to mouth."

We ran into Bryan, with Coco the Furby. Oh man. That was crazy. Leslie, Josh, and I ended up hanging out with Sam, Roger, and Leif for quite a while (till about 1:30), as the guys played music (mostly Calibrett0 13 songs) and we took pictures and video for them. It was a LOT of fun.

Now, however, is crunch time, as I have a final project paper due next Wednesday, and I'm only about 20% of the way done. Not to mention, my research and plan took a crazy turn today.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

my summer missions trip

*adapted from a bulletin insert*

This summer I have the opportunity to travel to Juarez, Mexico for 8 weeks with Youth in Mission (YIM). I am pretty excited for this trip, but I would appreciate any support.

Ministry:
~Partner with a Latin American YIM team
~Facilitate evangelism training & outreach
~Involvement with compassionate ministries
~Participate in Work & Witness projects
~Assisting in leadership training for Nazarene leaders in Mexico
~Train, coordinate and lead a short-term missions trip for Latin American youth (Maximum Mission) in Mexico

Trip Dates: May 29 to July 29
Cost: $3,127.00 (plus airfare)

Prayer Needs:
~Preparing those on-site in Mexico
~Preparing our team for ministry
~Raising the needed support

If you would like to support me financially, let me know and I will give you the needed information.

“The love of Christ compels us...”
2 Corinthians 5:14

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"I Left Everything to Follow You"

The following are lyrics that I heard on Sunday, and I really liked the song, so I decided to post them.

Though sometimes I grow weary when the road's getting long
At each point of my weakness You make me strong
And when doubt takes over I remember it's true
I left everything to follow You

To stay safe or follow You asked me to choose
But how could I fail when I've got nothing left to lose?
Without Your call I couldn't make it
It'd be possible to do

Everything to follow, everything to follow, everything to follow You

But what is my petty offering
Compared to Your sacrifice?
I gave up my home
But You left paradise
And what You called me to offer has really set me free
Cause You left everything to be with me

So with joy I embrace a faith that calls me from home
And I will cling to Your promise that I am never alone
And with each passing moment I'll keep hoping it's true
I left everything to follow You

Everything to follow, everything to follow, everything to follow You

Sunday, February 25, 2007

boston!

This weekend was pretty much amazing. Thursday night inaugurated the Honors weekend, which meant I got to see Erin!!! It was pretty cool to catch up with her, and we walked around Wolly area, and the beach, talking and stuff. Except she ended up having to stay in another room. :( Funny thing--I started telling her about YIM, and she was like, "Oh yeah! Merritt told me!" Crazy small (Nazarene) world.
Friday night a few of us honors students, along with the KP's, went to Blue Man Group, and saw the Honors students for all of about 30 seconds before we parted ways again. It was a good show--as it went on, I remembered stuff from the first time I saw it.


(me with a Blue Man after the show)

Saturday morning Jen and I joined the group to go to the Prudential Center Skywalk, so we could look out on the city. That was pretty much amazing. I am pretty sure I saw Wolly church from the top!!! Visibility was great: you could see for MILES.


(tweaked image--I'm not sure how the quality is, but that's basically what I saw with just my eyes. The large circle on the left is around UMass Boston. The one farthest on the right is the Keyspan oil thing. The closer small circle is around the two yacht clubs at Wolly beach, and the distant one is of that crane you can see at the Quincy Wal-Mart. The yellow rectangle is approximately where Wollaston is. Pretty crazy, right?)


(Copley Square area, I think this is my favoritest part of Boston...the red roofed building and the one attached to it is the Boston Public Library--HUGE!!!)


(someday I want to live in one of these brownstone types....when I can afford it...this is the Back Bay area)


(Hancock Building)


(we were up there!!! to my Arts and Music classmates, this photograph has a strong vertical composition)

Then we joined up with the MFA group at Park Street and walked some of the Freedom Trail before getting to Quincy Market. I re-discovered the intersection where the Boston Massacre took place (I have a picture from when I visited Boston in 8th grade, but didn't remember where exactly it was).

Dr. Wooster, retelling him asking a pretzel vendor: "I asked him, 'How salty are your pretzels?' '$2.50.' "

Alain, pretending to be Amy: "I always carry my game console in my handbag."

There were other good quotes too, and fun times with Jen...like when we were walking back down Elm Ave, and we linked arms so that one of us faced forward and the other faced backwards. We were singing, "Turn around," and changing directions. We also skipped around Boston. :)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

mi vida.

This past weekend in Maine was pretty much amazing, in terms of fun and in terms of ministry stuff. Basically, not only did I get to hang out and have cool conversations with people, but I also got to help with junior high Sunday School, and lead Children's Church (I was totally applying some of what I learned in Ed Psych, it was crazy). I've learned that Prof is a fan of the "trial by fire" or "sink or swim" method of teaching you skills. Before Friday night, I didn't know that I'd be working with the Children's Church group. Before Saturday morning, I didn't know that I'd be primarily responsible for figuring stuff out. It more or less happens that upon arrival to a weekend, I find out close to exactly what I'm doing. But hey, it really helps you grow.

Here are just a few more words about the weekend.
~ministry: Sunday School, Children's Church, testimony time, mingling
~fun: sledding, games, Mafia, etc.
~injuries: chipped tooth, sprained ankle, injured knee, hitting upside the head
~studying
~doing rounds of quizzing to determine shower and eating order
~conversations
~sledding on old plastic caf trays from Rick

I also collected a ton of quotes. :)

*Jen on the phone: “Z as in xylophone”
*Jen S: “Do we have to go through New Hampshire?”
*Jess: “Oh look, this snow is powdery” (right foot plunges into snow)
*Jocey: “No! I don’t wanna be a druggie, gosh!”
*Jess: “Who needs vegetables at dinner when you can eat popcorn?”
*Jen: “We do not practice personification here”
*Joel: “I’m a perfectly normal and sane person…compared to the play”
*Sondra’s dream that Prof was on drugs
*Hannah: “It’s called a quiz meet, not a hangout meet”
*Prof: “Smack me if you want—it’ll still hurt”

*Joel: “Someday I want to be laughed with, not at”
Jen: “Say something funny and I’ll laugh with you”


*Prof (about Bible study): “And what does that mean?”
Hannah: “Studying the Bible”

*News headline on Yahoo: “Bush has two moles removed from temple” (this could totally be taken two different ways)
*Lucas: “Who would you like to violently evaporate?” (playing Mafia)
*Jen: “Welcome to New Hampshire! ...I mean Massachusetts!”
*Sondra: “What is it about us with men?” (to Deborah during a game of Guess Who?)
*Deborah: “You’re just gonna lay in a cold box for the rest of your...oh. You’re already dead.”
*Jen: “Belch it out, guys” (for singing)
*Sondra to Billy: “Just think, you could be related to Joel.”
*Joel to Becky: “Much as I love you, I just can’t marry you.”

*Joel: “Are you quizzed out?”
Ryan: “Yes”
Joel: “Why do I get the feeling you’re lying?”

*(Hannah knocks chair over)
Joel/Jess, at the same time: “Shhhh!!!” (laughter) … “She just made a joke and she doesn’t know it.”
Hannah: “What joke?”

Today was the Ash Wednesday chapel. I learned that Sundays are feast days, in which you can enjoy what you've given up for Lent, as a way of celebrating and looking forward to the Resurrection. I definitely need this time of Lent, to be able to figure out (or try to at least) what God wants me to do. And you know, without Facebook to continuously check, there's only so much you can do online (so it seems right now). Hopefully I really use that freed-up time to actually read my Bible and pray.

I got to talk to Jen for a good long while tonight...It was really cool. I made fun of her at times, but all in good fun. Erin comes tomorrow to visit for Honors weekend, and I'm pretty excited. :)

I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same

Show me Your glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your glory
Majesty shines about You
I can't go on without You, Lord

When I climb down the mountain
And get back to my life
I won't settle for ordinary things
I'm gonna follow You forever
And for all of my days
I won't rest 'til I see You again

Show me Your glory
Show me Your glory
I can't live without You

Saturday, February 10, 2007

jump out of the boat, burst your bubble

"Surrender" (we sang this in chapel yesterday)

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

other prof.quotes (Ed Psych & Christian Tradition)

Ed Psych:
"They don't like to have criminals in schools."

Christian Tradition:
"So it's a little trap I set to waste some of your time." (about something on the website)
"I don't know how they looked, so I don't know how aesthetic they were" (as opposed to ascetic)
"Everybody who talks about Plato has to talk about chairs."

Millie music-related quotes

› My mother wanted me to be a lawyer—a lawyer or a minister.
› about learning with repetition: “You learn breathing pretty quickly, right? Otherwise you’ve got about five minutes.”
› We’re not gonna make you learn to read music. That would be an interesting procedure, but…no.
› That would just be humongously huge.
› When words and music come together, music rules.
› Music is powerful, like drugs.
› We are music.
› We just took it (the word “tempo”) lock, stock, and barrel from Italian.
› Course I can’t talk and play the right note at the same time.
› I’m not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination.
› You don’t have to learn 26…actually you have to learn 88.
› Eventually we run out of breath permanently.
› After that the party is OVER!!
› Anybody here turned on by the idea of death?
› You turning us all into music majors?
› Use your Italian accent. No!!
› It’s very dumb, actually.
› I also cheat a little bit, but I won’t explain how.
› This a piece he actually wrote…
› I’ll play it very nice, but boring.
› Musicians are like everyone else—we abbreviate things.
› We have to be David Letterman.
› I knew it was coming, but it still struck me as funny.
› I don’t crack up the way I do with Haydn.
› Mozart and Bach—that’s perfection.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

corny but funny jokes

The following are taken from the Facebook group, "A Bad Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away." They are really amusing. :)

Two muffins are in a oven. One says, "Oh my goodness, it's hot in here!!" The other one says,"Oh my goodness, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What happened to the frog that was parked illegally?
It was toad!

what do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor!
what do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major!

Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because the Captain was standing on the deck!

Where do one-legged waitresses work?
IHOP.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
One goes "whack... dang!"
The other, "dang... whack!"

So there are these two friends, "hehe" and "haha". One sad day, "haha" passed away. After the funeral, "hehe" stayed behind to grieve his dear friend. Finally, hehe couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into tears screaming "haha, you're dead!"

Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired!

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!!
What's brown and sticky?... a STICK!!!

How many members of, "my chemical romance" does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. they prefer to cry in the dark.

Where did Napolean keep his armies?
In his sleevies!

I think that's about all for now. :)